My sister is dead. Boy is that a hard thing to type. Really it is an even harder thing to say. Lisa has died. A dear friend came by my work today to tell me. The coroner thinks it was suicide.
Damn. Fuck. Damn.
I knew this would happen. This wasn't the first attempt she has made to take her own life. But it was certainly the most successful.
Please excuse me if I insult anyone with my thoughts. I'm not trying to. I'm just letting the words flow as they enter my head.
Hell, this is my blog and I'll cry if I want to.
No, I'm not cracking up. I just find that when I am feeling really bad I write and then I don't feel so bad anymore. Maybe if I put all these thoughts down then they won't have the power to make me feel sad anymore.
I posted here not too long ago about the troubles I knew she was having. I asked for prayers and now I'm asking for them again. And not for myself. And not for Lisa. She is in Heaven now. I truly believe that. She is not in pain anymore. Not tortured or sad or depressed or anything. She is at peace. I ask them for everyone who has wondered why. Why did this beautiful, smart, warm. loving, caring woman not know how to find peace here on Earth? Why? Why weren't we able to get through? Why couldn't she see how much we loved her and cherished her and wanted her to be around? Why? I can't help but feel sadness and anger that she just couldn't get it. I MISS HER. I LOVE HER. AND SHE IS NOT HERE!
I'm just so very sad. I'll get through this. I've gotten through everything else. And I'll survive this too. I'm a survivor.
As I pointed out to more than a few people today I now will have to write a third obituary for someone in my family. I did it for Mom and Dad. And now I get to do it for Lisa.
Prayers....
322 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 322 of 322Kristina,
Hang in there. What you're going through right now is tough, but God is tougher. He will bring you through it. All of those questions that have been unanswered may never be answered, but one thing is for sure: you have a system of support here for you, to help you, to comfort you, and to care about you. We may never know why Lisa took her own life, just as we may never know why others take their own lives every day. One thing we do know is that there are people here to listen to your concerns, trying to provide any support possible. You and all those close to you and your sister will be in my prayers tonight.
Kristina -
I can't imagine what you're going through right now. But I'm amazed at how strong you continue to be.
My thoughts are with you.
Love,
Kevin
Kristina, this was just like a indescribeable thing. this made me feel so just i dont know, but it just was so heartbereaking. I have a sister and even though we disagree and fight, I would cry if i lost her and i would be that way for anyone else in my life. So, tonight i cry and pray for you and your sister.
Amber
Kristina, I can only imagine what you're going through. I don't have any experience with this but what I can do is offer my prayers and support. I admire how strong you are and encourage you to continue to be the rock in the family. As you well know your daughters are going to need you even more now and I know they've been so blessed to have a mother like you. I hope and pray that everything will work out for you and your family, in fact; I have faith that it will. Hang in there. We're here for you.
Kristina, this is really heartbreaking. To be honest, I know nothing that you are possibly going through and you're really admirable. I have no idea how I would react to a situation like this but you handled this very well and I hope you know that there are lots of people who are there for you and those who wish will continuously pray for you and your family. Including me.
Much love,
Athena
Kristina,
I am so, so terribly sorry for your loss. Having never experienced anything of the sort, I can only imagine what you must be going through, but I'm not even close to imagining anything remotely similar to your grief. I have deep admiration for strength in handling this situation. You are absolutely right to write it all down. I'm a writer, too, and writing is just what we do. I'm you have discovered this, but it's both terrifying and a relief to put your emotions into words and see them line up coherently on a page or screen.
My heart goes out to you. I know this is a horrible, devastating loss, but keep writing and stay strong.
Your courage is truly inspiring.
Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know where you are, but I'm sending love!
~Leah
Kristina,
Im sure there is no way anyone here would think any less of you or be offended by the things you wrote. I am so very sorry for your loss and from seeing the way you have been so strong through this tough time, it has been so inspirational.
Love, A kind Stranger.
You are so brave. if i were you, i wouldnt not have been able to cope that well. You have been through a terrible thing that no one should deserve to experience. Even though iknow that your heart will never be completely the same, please know that there are always people around you who are willing to let you have a shoulder to cry on, a person to talk to.Ill be sure to keep you in my prayers. ♥ God Bless
Kristina,
This post made me cry. I can't say I know what you are going through, but I promise you that you will get through it. We are all here for you, and also will be. There are many people who care about you, and we will help you get through this. My thoughts go out to you and your family.
Kristina, I am so sorry for loss. I love how selfless you are being and reaching out to others who have gone through the same thing. This must be a hard time for you, and helping others in your time of need is a trait to be admired. Stay strong. My prayers are with you.
Love,
Someone who admires you
Sending you my love, positive energy, and peaceful healing energy. I'm also saying a prayer for anyone who's in similar pain but hasn't yet taken their life to open themselves up to all the love, comfort, goodness and joy the world has to offer.
~With love~
Kristina, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. It's a heartbreaking situation, but the way your handling is incredibly inspiring. You WILL survive and you will learn from this. My heart goes out to your and your family.
Dear Kristina,
I can not even begin to imagine the pain that you're feeling right now, and I admire you for being such a strong person through the tragedy in your life. Your strength is inspirational, and the fact that despite the hardships you keep living your life one step at a time. I can only hope to one day be as tough of a person. There is little I can say that can make this easier for you, but I wish you the best. You're in my prayers.
Emily
Kristina, my heart goes out to you, and all those who loved Lisa. I will pray that God encompasses you all with peace, strength, and love.
Remember that God uses those around us to help, so lean on the people He puts in your path when you need them. Blessings, Carol
Kristina,
Please know that you,your family,your sister,and those close to your sister are all in my prayers.I know how hard suicide can be.Although my best friend was unsuccessful,I can relate to your pain.Try to stay positive,and remember that there are a ton of people out there caring and praying for you.
Erin
Kristina, I am sincerely sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how deep the pain is you may feel with this loss. I am inspired and encouraged by your honesty coupled with your determination to fight and remain strong. Your pain and triumph through it can be an amazing help to others, and it already has been to me. My heart goes out to you and I will say a prayer for you and your family.
You are an overcomer, and it shows.
Joy
Kristina,
In 2006 I lost my step brother to a car accident which he was responsible for. One of the most important things I wish someone had told me was to give myself time to grieve. It is tempting to cling to "being strong" but true strength is being able to grieve for your sister.
I hope that the good memories you have of her will comfort you, and know that you will be in my prayers.
Lots of love,
Sarah
Toronto Canada
My sincere condolences to you and your family. May you find comfort in knowing that there are many (including those of us who don't actually know you) who are thinking of you and sending you strength.
My sincere condolences to you and your family. May you find comfort in knowing that there are many (including those of us who don't actually know you) who are thinking of you and sending you strength.
((hug)) I'm working on a film right now and one of the people in it lost his twin brother to suicide at the age of 25. More than 40 years later he and his remaining siblings sometimes still get choked up talking about him. But they feel enriched by ever knowing him. I'm glad you got to know your sister and feel her love.
Your post made me cry for you, not in sadness, but in amazement that even though the pain you are feeling, you are able to show what a strong, amazing woman you seem to be. Your sister was extremely lucky to be loved by you, and you were lucky to be loved by her. Sharing her memories with your beautiful daughters will ensure that love never flickers, never dims, and never goes out. God Bless.
Kristina, I know that you don't know me but i had to let you know that you give me hope. I've been feeling depressed recently because of a death in my family, but seeing how strong you are with everything that happened, I can only hope to be as strong as you. I often wonder why, about a few different things and can't help but wonder who else does... I want to thank you for showing me that people can make it through, and the least i can do in return is to pray for others like me and those who are worse off. Thank you, for being the amazing person you are, and sharing your strength.
Kristina,
I'm so sorry to hear that you have lost your sister, especially in this way. It's difficult to lose anyone that we love, but when there are so many unanswered questions left behind, the loss is compounded in ways that most of us will never be able to even try to understand. My heart goes out to you & your family, and I hope that peace will eventually find all of you, including your sister.
Hugs,
Lindsay
I'm sorry about the way things happened, but you can make it through this. I hope that everyone's words make a difference, and that you can still see the sunshine of the day.
Best wishes for your future, and I hope things get better for you.
From, nobody in particular
I'm sorry about the way things happened, but you can make it through this. I hope that everyone's words make a difference, and that you can still see the sunshine of the day.
Best wishes for your future, and I hope things get better for you.
From, nobody in particular
Just because your sister lost her life didn't mean she didn't love you. It just means she was having a hard time. I admire your strength and I hope that you can get through this.
Kristina,
I'm sorry. I wish there were something more I could say...I wish there were some magic words that I could say to make it better. But I know there aren't.
Just know that there are people who love you and care about you. More than you could ever know.
You and your family are in my thoughts and my prayers tonight.
Love,
Patricia
Hello Dear Kristina,
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. I have no idea what you are feeling or what it is like to go through this. I do know what it is like to hurt and I am sure that your pain is magnified many times over any I have ever felt. It looks as though there are many who are supporting you and I hope that you will take strength in that. Bless you at this time that you will have the strength you need to make it through this journey.
A Friend in Long Beach California
Kristina, I am so sorry to hear this. I know I don't know you, but you are in my thoughts.
Kristina, my heart truly goes out to you. While I have not been in quite the same situation as yours, I can feel a part of your pain. Know that we are all here for you to help you get through this. You, your sister and your family are all in our thoughts and prayers. Keep your head up and your heart strong. We all love you.
Yours dearly and with love,
Victoria
Kristina, i'm sorry for your loss and can't even begin to imagine the pain you must be feeling. I know it isn't much, but my thoughts and prayers are with you.
~Tuesday
You are a strong woman. My prayers are with you.
<3,
April
Kristina, I can't imagine the pain you're going through right now. But know that you and your sister are in our hearts. we are here encouraging you, loving you, and praying for you.
Kristina, I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine the pain you must be feeling. You are clearly a very strong woman, and the way you are handling this is admirable. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Dear Kristina,
I may not know you, and I don't know what you are feeling or exactly what you are going through, but I do know how it feels to lose a loved one. My prayers are with you and your family, in this time of grief. As others have said, I wouldn't be able to handle this as well as you are. Keep your chin up, and eyes toward the future. I'm sure Lisa is happy, wherever she may be.
Cady
My heart really goes out to you Kristina. You are incredible, stay strong, my prayers tonight are with you.
Bless you,
Philip
Kristina- I'm really sorry for all you have to go through. My prayers are with you, and I hope you will be able to overcome this hard time in your life. As others said, I really do admire you for being able to handle this the way you do - when i lost my grandfather I would just lie in bed, but you give me hope. I know you're strong enough to get through this!
--Janine
Kristina, I'm truly sorry for your loss. Your strength amidst this tragedy and your continued love for your sister has touched me and encouraged me. You're right. Your sister is in a better place, without pain, and you will get through this. You and your family will be in my prayers. Stay strong!
Kristina,
I am so saddened by your loss. I can't even begin to imagine the depth of your pain and I truly admire you for being able to express yourself so bravely to all of your readers. I remember a few months ago, my cousins fiance took his life. It was really difficult for the whole family. My cousin was in shock for a while but I can assure you she is doing perfectly well now and so will you. You have my utmost respect and I wish you all the best in conquering life's challenges
Love, Jenna
Kristina,
I hope all of these post show you just how much love there is in this world. People who have never met you are there for you no matter what happens. Life throws you turns, but you have to show life that you can do this. I am so sorry for what you have to go through and there is no answer for why. Love and be loved, only then will you be at peace.
Rachael
kristina...i am praying for you. i can't even imagine the incredible pain you are going through right now. it sounds like you have been through a lot. but stay strong. :)
Kristina,
Like so many other people have said, your post has touched my heart. Losing someone close to you is so hard, and it hurts so bad. Whatever you may be feeling at this moment, it's okay; all of it. Take things one day at a time and take your time with whatever comes at you- you have the support of everyone around you and you will most definitely be in my prayers. This too shall pass.
Deal how you need to deal- treasure your memories, cry, yell, be angry. You are loved!
You are in my thoughts and my prayers, Kristina.
Love from a stranger,
Erika
Kristina, I may not know you as much but I want to let you know that everyone in this world has read your pain and is committed to help you out and get through. It is really heartbreaking to hear that your sibling has passed away. I'm only 17 and want to prove that even young people understand the pain and wants to comfort anyone that is in great pain including you. It is my part of duty to let you know that I am here to comfort you
Kristina,
I'm really sorry that this happened to you. I just want you to know that we're all here to support you through tough times.
My prayers are with you and your family.
I'm sorry for your lost Kristina :( I can't say you'll be okay because you might never be, but like you said, you're a survivor. People out there care for you and they're total strangers, but tonight, you're in our wishes.
-Kristne
You are right sweetheart it is your blog and you can cry if you want to!
I know you don't know me. We have never met, we don't even live in the same country but your post touched me all the same.
I have three wonderful sisters and the thought of losing any of them fills me with dread. I have never experienced losing a sibling, a parent and a daughter yes so I can empathize with how you feel. I am sending you a big HUG and praying for you to have the strength to get through the coming weeks and months without your parents there to grieve with you :(
Thank you so much for sharing such a personal part of your life with us and I hope our support helps you even if it is a very small help.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers
Jo xx
I am so sorry for your loss.
You and your family are in my prayers this evening.
Kristina, You're right, sometimes just getting the words on paper (or blog) is therapeutic for the soul. You're in my thoughts today. Kate
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. In my experience, there are no words that anyone can say to make it easier. One of my uncles took his own life a few years ago and we still struggle with the "why?" questions. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts. I hope that you are able to find the answers you need to find peace in this situation.
I can't even imagine what you are facing right now. Always remember that there are people thinking of you and keeping you in their prayers.
Ask God for solace and comfort. Stay strong.
Allison
Kristina,
I am so sorry that you have lost a special person. I hope you know that I am praying for you and am hoping that time eases some of your pain. I am glad writing helps you. Please keep writing. You are an inspiration to us all. I am sending much love your way. You are an amazing woman.
Lori
Kristina
Thank you so much for sharing this personal story with us. I have been so depressed and have lately started thinking about suicide. Reading this post makes me realize how senseless it would be and exactly who, my sisters, I'd be leaving behind. I hope your sister has found peace but mostly I hope that you can. Stay strong x
Kristina,
I fely my heart breaking as I read you post - I can only imagine what it must have been like for you. You and your family are in my thoughts. Stay strong.
<3
My heart goes out to you and your family. You may not feel strong at such a difficult time, but YOU ARE. You can get through though this and turn out even stronger when you come out on the other side. I'll be praying <3
Kristina, I want you to know how brave you are for this heartfelt post. My prayers are with you and your family in this difficult time. May these words from 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 comfort you: "May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word."
Eric
Kristina,
Your words are so strong and inspirational even in your darkest hours. It is times like these that I hope I never face, but your courage and will to stay strong has shown me that it will all turn out ok. My condolences for your loss. I wish you the best for your family.
Continue to stay strong.
~Kevin
Kristina,
Your story is a sad one, it touched me deeply. Thank you for taking the time to share it, I was inspired by your strength and your ability to deal with what life has given you. You are very correct, you are a survivor, one with an important story to tell. Suicide is awful, as a first hand observer of what it can do to people I understand the struggle you are facing and I truly believe that you can handle it and that one day the pain will fade at least a little. So keep your head up high, you are an inspiration. Thank you and I will be thinking good thoughts for you,
Sarah
I can't imagine losing my sister. I am so, so sorry.
You will be in my thoughts and I'm sending warm wishes your way.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Kristina you are a survivor. You're so strong. It's so hard to continue on but you're doing it despite all the pain you're going through. Your post really touched me and I hope that you're doing better. I pray that God give you all the strength you need and I pray that you continue to stay strong. God bless! I'll continue to keep you in my prayers!
Kristina - I add my thoughts and prayers and positive energies to those of countless others in the hope that you know you are not alone in this, and will not be alone in this.
Katie
Kristina, I was touched by the raw emotion in this post. I can see how much hurt you're going through right now. But I admire how well you handle your situation right now.
I'm with you.
Connie
Itstartswith.us
I can't imagine what you and your family must be going through right now, but I want you to know that I'm praying for you. I barely even know what else I can say, only that I was amazed by how much strength it must've taken to go through through this and to post about it. Just remember that you aren't alone, and that my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family in this difficult time.
Jimmy
Dear Kristina,
I don't think there's anything I can say that will help with what you are going through, but I only wanted to tell you that you are so brave, and so loved. You have touched the hearts of complete strangers with your story, and with a heart as beautiful as yours, you will be able to continue on. There's nothing I can offer you but my sincere love and admiration, but that in plenty. You are an incredible person, as your sister was and still is in Heaven.
"I love her. And she is not here."
For this, I wish I could hug you. For your love. For your feelings. For you. For that...is it pain? I'm sorry I don't understand very well. Is it pain when someone is no longer there? I love you means a lot.
Please, have what love I can give you. I may not know you, but you deserve it so surely. I hope only it gives you strength.
My love.
Life is beautiful and yet so fragile. Your post touched my heart. Even if it seems like you might be alone in this journey, everyone--even us strangers--will have you in our thoughts and prayers. Things will get better and your sister will always be looking over you from heaven. <3
Kristina,
I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through right now. I know that I have never met you before and that my words can only provide minimal comfort, but please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers during this time. I truly admire your strength and hope that you know that there are people around the world who care about you and sympathize.
Hang in there, I'm thinking of you.
Hugs,
Tina
Kristina,
Thank you for being so open and willing to share your story. You're an amazing person and although you're going through a lot right now I have no doubt in my mind that you will overcome. "He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from off all faces..." Isaiah 25:8
I have never been in your position, but I have been close to the same as your sister. Too many nights I have thought about not waking up, and have had the means to do it. Reading your story has thrown into sharp relief the things I'd be giving up. To sit here and imagine my best friend or my mother having to write what you wrote or feel what you're feeling is overwhelming. Nothing I could ever feel would compare to that, so thank you. You've given me a whole new perspective on how I handle my life.
You don't know me, but I love you, and I'm praying for you and your sister.
<3 Ella Bella
Kristina,
Reading your blog entry gave me a glimpse of what would have happened to the people who loved me if I were to have committed suiceide years ago out of depression.
Some people fail to see those who truly love them and many a times, they act out of anger, sadness or disappointment.
Your sister may have left you here on Earth. But your love will remain with her though she's Up There. She feels you, she knows you, and you will always be with her. This distance between Earth and Heaven doesn't change anything as Love becomes stronger.
It holds her in you, and it holds you in her.
She rests in peace as you love her.
I will definitely be praying. Wrapping your mind around suicide is extremely difficult :( I admire your strength.
Kristina,
I am so sorry for your loss. I have had to let go of beloved people, too, and all the more I admire how you are dealing with this. As the survivor you are, your daughters are lucky to have you. I know you will be a great role model for them, and an even better mom. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Even if your love didn't keep Lisa from dying, it will keep her from leaving this earth. She will have a safe place in heaven and her memory will have a safe place in your heart.
A teenage girl who cares.
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a close family friend to suicide almost a year ago. I can only imagine what you are going through now, having lost a sister. I admire how strong you are and I am sure you will get through this. Just know there are people caring for you.
Love,
Jayme
Kristina, I admire your strenght during this times. I'm sure no words are enough to confort or to stop you from missing you sister for one second. But we all must understand how life begins and ends in the same wonderful way: full with love. Time will heal the pain, but the love, you'll carry it in your heart forever and there is where her soul will live.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family right now.
Love Paola
Kristina,
My best friend and co-worker just lost her husband of only a year to suicide January 10th this year. I feel your pain. There is only one way to move, and that's forward. I'm sorry for your loss and you should know that everyone around you cares about you. May peace be with you and happiness to follow soon. You may be without your sister on Earth, but she will always be with you in your heart, and she will watch over you, protecting you, from the heavens above.
Ashley
Kristina - I can't imagine the heartache you are going through right now. Sharing your story can only help others. My thoughts are with you and yours at this very difficult time.
J
"Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die."
- by Mary Elizabeth Frye
Kristina: I can't begin to imagine what you are feeling, but I know it must be painful. My heart goes out to you. I hope it helps to know that there are people who care about and support you for what YOU are going through.
Kristina,
I've never had a sister. I've never lost someone to suicide. I'll never understand just how much pain you're feeling, Kristina. But I know this is probably incredibly hard. Surround yourself with those you love and who love you. That's the best I can offer in advice. Remember that there are people in the world who care about you. God does, your family does, your friends do, even people you've never met. Like me and many other people who have left comments. I'll be praying for you and for your family.
God can bring a great good out of this.
With love,
Miranda
Kristina,
As hard as you try to hide that hole, it will always be there. So don't ignore it it won't make anything better. However, ALWAYS remember what was there. If you remember Lisa for who she was and all the amazing things your sister did in life, that memory will help you control the pain that the hole has.
You are and will be strong though out this whole thing and I admire your strength.
Your family, your heart, and your sister are all in my thoughts.
Kristina,
You are a strong woman, and I admire you for that. You and your beautiful girls are in my prayers.
Kristina,
losing someone you love is the hardest thing there is...I lost the person I loved the most in the world and I know how strong the pain is...but you'll get through it. I swear. and not only will get through it but, even though the pain will still be there, you will get stronger.
Be sure that I ll pray for your sister and your family with all my heart
Kristina, I know so many words of comfort aren't going to help bring her back, neither will me saying that I will be thinking and praying for you and your family, which I will be doing. But I'd just like to say; try and stay strong. I have no idea how hard this is for you, and your family, and I'd just like to say I admire you for how well you are handelling this, and I hope you come out of this okay. Just know that many people are supporting you, and I know you have people who love you and will help you through this hard time. I am so sorry for your lose, and I know your sister is in a much better, happier place right now. You will be in my thoughts and prayers, much love, Katie x
Kristina I can't imagine how deep your pain is at the moment. Your strength of will and character amazes me. Stay strong, take time to grieve and seek support from others when you need it.
Keeping you in my thoughts during this difficult time and wishing you happiness for the future.
Krisina, Iʻm sorry for your loss and my heart goes out to you and your family. I would like to thank you for sharing this experience. It has reminded me that I need to say "I love you" to those people that are important to me and let them know that I care about them no matter how long it has been. May the lord be with you and your family in these hard times.
Joshua
Kristina,
I am so very sorry for your loss and the hearbreak this must be causing you and your family. You and your family are in my prayers.
Kristina,
Pull close to the ones who love you. I'm praying for you tonight.
Mike
This post is truly heart-braking- in a good way. I'm sending you some love, and just a touch of joy. Use it well. People everywhere like your sister are in my thoughts.
Love,
Someone Who Cares About Humanity
there's nothing i can write that hasn't been written...am wishing you all that you need to get through this.
Kristina, I am so sorry for the loss of your sister and realize just how hard this is for you. A few years ago, my best friend lost her father, the man who was also like a father to me,to stage 4brain cancer. It was so sudden, he died only weeks after the diagnosis, and it was a hard thing for us to go through when we were not even started junior high yet. You are handling this situation so well, and should be proud of the fact that you are a survivor. Stay strong, as I can tell you already are. Peace be with you.
Kristina,
You and your family are in my prayers.
Unfortunately some us do not see the beauty in ourselves until it is too late.
You are strong and beautiful too, remember that.
~Kayleigh
Kristina,
You may not me, however I am simply here as a stranger sending my love and support to you and your family. I simply cannot imagine what on Earth you must be going through, however I will say that being someone who has the courage to type everything that you are feeling out is beautiful and extremely brave. I already know almost nothing about you, but I know that you are as strong as can be. I know for a fact it takes courage and strength to actually see your own thoughts and feelings put into words. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Alysia (a devoted stranger)
Kristina, I am so sorry for your loss. And I understand what you are going through, my half brother committed suicide two years ago and he was my best friend. You are strong, this will make you stronger, and it will take time, scream, cry, let everything out. Just know that there are people out there who care.
Caroline
Just love and hugs from across the ocean. Nothing one can say can help. And one has to get through this alone. I wish you courage and strength and lots of love and hugs.
Kristina, I just want to let you know that you are in my prayers. My mother lost her father to suicide before I was born, so while I may be a few steps removed, I can relate to the heartache that it causes for the family left behind. I also had a former friend attempt to do so several years ago, and I remember the feelings of "why can't I seem to get through to her or help her?" I am so very sorry for your loss. May God give you the strength to persevere through all this.
Kristina, I am so sorry for your loss. Many thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
kristina, i am so sorry. i'll pray that you and your family feel God's love for you and your sister at this time.
oh honey :( there are no words, but you are so very brave and I am very sorry for your loss... i don't know you, but it shines through your words that you are amazing and strong and will one day maybe find some kind of weird peace or acceptance... anyway, enough of the non-words from me... just want you to know that you have touched me as much as all the others who have posted... thinking of you and sending lots of virtual love and hugs and coping vibes your way xxx
Kristina, you don't know me and I don't know you, but I wanted you to know I'm praying for you right now. *Hug*
Kristina, I've never met you, but I came across this post and was moved. You are so amazing, being faced with something like this and keeping strong. I hope you can find peace and comfort, even throughout all the pain.
My prayers are for you tonight, and many nights to come.
You are simply inspiring.
Kristina - I don't know you, but know that I am very touched by your post and you and your family are in my prayers. God bless you as you deal with your loss.
Kristen
I am so sorry for your loss. I'm wishing you all the best and lots of strength for you to get through this. I do not want to imagine what it would feel like to lose a sibling.
It's good to see your positive attitude despite everything.
My heart and my prayers go out to you and your family.
My heart and my prayers go out to you and your family.
I know there's nothing anyone can say. You're in my prayers.
My thoughts are with you, Kristina. Stay strong in the tears, the joyful memories and your own hope for the future. You're not alone.
Kristina,
I'm so very sorry for your loss of your sister and friend. My soul reaches out to you and you're in my sweetest of thoughts.
Yes,you will get through this..
Tara
Hi Kristina,
I'm not going to pretend I know what you're going through but I do have a little idea, two years ago my friend tried to take his own life - by some miracle me and my OH were able to get to him before he succeeded.
That day between the tears and trying to be the grown up in the situation (at the time I was 22 and my friend is 40ish) my heart was breaking - it ran through my mind so much about why he couldn't find the peace he needed.
Depression is still misunderstood - so many people I know don't consider it an illness because they can't see the syptoms.
I send mahoosive hugs to you and your girlies.
Han
Wow, Kristina.
I just read your post at the bottom of this page, in addition to your raw post about losing your sister... about your children, your divorce, the loss of your parents... and now the loss of your sister. You ARE a survivor.
Your questions may never be answered... the how's and why's and how come's... but you may find peace with them. It looks as though you are already beginning this process.
I hope you have a good support group around you. Know you aren't alone, that people care about you, and they want to help you.
Many prayers, many hugs, and much love,
Susan
(a total stranger, who read your blog through Nate St. Pierre's post)
oh mama, i am so so sorry for your loss. my thoughts are with you. much love.
Kristinia,Your post really hit my heart! I too lost someone the same way--my father. Time will make it easier, but the scars never leave. View the scars as the love you have for your sister and remember the good times. In times like this, we think of what maybe we could have done to prevent it. The answer is nothing. I was 22 when my father died and I am now 71. I still miss him. He missed so much that he would have enjoyed.
Kristinia,Your post really hit my heart! I too lost someone the same way--my father. Time will make it easier, but the scars never leave. View the scars as the love you have for your sister and remember the good times. In times like this, we think of what maybe we could have done to prevent it. The answer is nothing. I was 22 when my father died and I am now 71. I still miss him. He missed so much that he would have enjoyed.
I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. I recently lost a cousin to suicide and there are so many unanswered questions. I hope you know you're not alone and there are many people that care about you, that are thinking of you and praying for you. Stay strong.
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