Thank you

I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of love, kindness, and amazing words I have received in the last few days. I want to thank everyone for their uplifting, thoughtful words on this blog. I only ever started this blog to put my own ideas out there in cyberspace. I wanted to put my own voice to my everyday actions. When I wrote my sadness about my sister is was, for me, a way to deal with everything. I couldn't believe my eyes when I started seeing all these comments on my blog. I am truly grateful that all you kind souls took the time out of your busy lives to offer my girls and I some very heartfelt words. I have read each and every entry at least twice. When I'm feeling sad it's helps to sit down and read your words.

Losing my sister has been harder than I ever thought. I still can't believe she is gone. Someone on here posted that even though I had no contact with her there was still HOPE that she would get better and come back into our lives. I never hated my sister. I hated her actions. It's a fine line. This disease had such a hold on her that she couldn't see past it. She couldn't see HER good and worth.

I've been busy trying to put together a service for her that would honor the good about Lisa. We are having a small service at St. Bernadette's parish center in their chapel. The new church hasn't been built yet so there is little room for everyone. It is March 11 at 6:30 p.m. Lisa was not Catholic but I am. My priest felt it best to honor Lisa in some small way so that is what I intend to do. I'm trying to put together pictures to display at the service. The girls will be writing their own words about Aunt Lisa and the priest will read them aloud at the service.

I've written the obituary and it should be in Sunday's paper- The Courier-Journal. It should be online as well by then. Unfortunately the cost of this obituary was almost prohibitive. As a single Mom I just couldn't afford the obit I truly wanted for Lisa. As it stands now it is over $100. So I'll just continue to use my blog as a way to honor Lisa with my words.

Having the day off yesterday allowed me to gain some perspective in all this. I often wondered how relatives of people who committed such heinous crimes could still support their loved ones. How on earth could they separate their loved ones from their horrible actions? And now I know in a small way. My brother could not see past Lisa's actions. I believe Lisa was more than just her actions. I haven't forgotten the terrible things she did to my parents. I've just forgiven her. It wouldn't be very Catholic of me to hold that anger in and not see that Lisa was truly a good person making bad decisions. We all would be in a sad state if no one ever forgave us for our sins. Lisa was a kind person at heart and that is how I will choose to remember her.

In lieu of flowers I am asking that people send donations to Exceptional Equitation in LaGrange, KY. Their website is www.exceptional-equitation.org Shelly Prete is the owner. She was the teacher in the autism classroom at Field Elem. I used to work with her. Her farm is devoted to helping children with special needs. She has 10 horses and uses them in therapy. There were two times in Lisa's life when she she felt free of her demons. While creating with ceramics and while riding horses. Megan lives for horses. I tried to figure out a way to incorporate all of this into something good so I came up with a way to blend Lisa's joy with my children and came up with this. I'm hoping this is a fitting tribute to the person that was Lisa.

Again my heartfelt thanks to everyone. You have made this journey just a bit easier to make.