My Life in a Nut Shell

3 surgeries for Endometriosis, countless medications, and lots of difficult years trying to conceive. We put the medical stuff on hold and decided to work on being parents instead. In July of 2000 we were blessed beyond all measure with a phone call announcing the birth of our daughter, Megan. Megan's birth mother had given birth the day before and was leaving the hospital. We had no warning that Megan was coming. At 4:29 in the afternoon we were a couple, at 4:30 we were parents. Deciding that we wanted a sibling for Megan, we looked into all our options. This time insurance covered IVF. One round and we were blessed with triplets, Abigail, Brigid, and Caroline. Did you know that there is a 70% chance of divorce in families of Higher Order Multiples? Almost two years after the triplets were born my ex-husband and I separated and eventually divorced. During that time both my Mother and Father passed away from cancer. In February of 2007 my sister came to live with us to help out. In December of 2008 she had to leave so now it is me on my own with the girls. In February 2010, Lisa passed away and finally found her own Peace.

Friday, January 9, 2009

And the days go on

Time to update. Lots of things have happened since I last wrote. First off my sister Lisa is no longer living with us. She just couldn't stay sober/clean. Lisa knew that if there were any missteps as far as her addiction was concerned she would have to leave. I've been dealing with her issues for 23 years. And came to the realization that I didn't want to spend the next 23 years dealing with the same thing and I definitely did not want my girls exposed to the very same thing for the next 23 years either. It has been really hard on the girls not having Aunt Lisa in their lives anymore. But when it comes down to it my responsibility is to my girls. And there is no reason on earth that they have to be subjected to the very same things my family has been subjected to with Lisa. I don't know where she is at and I no longer have any contact with her. Harsh? No, I don't think so. Just reality.

Megan tested into the advanced program for school next year in 4th grade. I always knew that kid was smart but it is nice to see that others agree. She scored in the NINTH percentile for her verbal abilities. No surprise there!

Abigail, Brigid, and Caroline continue to do well in school. Brigid is so darn smart too. She is very much like Megan. She picks things up easily and has an incredible memory. She has become obsessed with dates. She comes home everyday and tells us about birthdays or holidays coming up in school. She studies the calendar everyday too and discusses the Chinese New Year or when the 100th day of school will be. And she has just blossomed in school. Her behavior at home has been amazing as well.

Caroline is my oddball. And I say that in the nicest way possible in celebration of her oddness. Last night she informed everyone that it really is more comfortable sleeping in a box. We have lots of cardboard boxes so that we can pack when we finally move. She has picked one and likes to put her pillow in it with a blanket (her didi) and cozy. She is definitely (as her teacher describes) a thinker. She likes to observe and really processes information. The other night we were talking about how commercials are slanted so that the advertisers get you to buy their products. I talked about how cigarette ads are designed to get you to buy them so that you make the owners money even though cigarettes are so bad for you. Caroline sat for a moment and then started crying. I asked what was wrong and she said that she hated the cigarette people for tricking Aunt Lisa, Uncle Erik, and Papa and Bestamor into smoking. Papa died from cigarette smoking and now Aunt Lisa and Uncle Erik are going to die too. It was a huge leap for her to make that assumption. But that is how Caroline is. She is so very sensitive to things like that.

Abby continues to be so much of a Momma's girl. I always get lots of hugs and kisses from her. School has been a bit harder for her. She is getting it and the lightbulb is starting to come on but it has been a slow process for her. My Dad always said Abby would be the one with all the friends around her and that is turning out to be so. Her teacher says that she always has friends around her seat in class and that sometimes Abby is not paying attention because she is too busy being social. There is something to be said for having a lot of friends. Abby is sweet and the protector of the family. If Megan is picking on any sister Abby is always there to defend them. It is amazing how protective she is over all of her sisters.

Now some good news for me! I got a job!! It's not exactly what I wanted and the pay is really not so great. But as my brother put it I am making more money there then sitting on my butt at home. The job does offer health insurance which is a major plus. So I am going to take it because it is a start. I will be a floater in a childcare center. I give breaks, help out where needed, answer phones, etc. I kind of like the fact that I don't have to do lesson plans and that I just go to work and when I leave at the end of the day I can focus on the girls and not worry about work. I will continue to look for a position that is more suited to what I am looking for, but this is a good solid start.

I went back and reread my first couple of blog entries from last year. My goal for 2008 was to do everything just a little bit better. And for the most part I think I met my goal. Oprah has been touting her show this week as making this your best life ever. I am striving again to make things just a little bit better. Things at home as far as the mess factor goes is getting better. The girls are older and in school all day so they house isn't such a mess. And I have been following the Fly Lady again. If you are not familiar with her check out her website She gives amazing hints for keeping your house looking good. The entire living area of my house is now clean, organized and ready for moving. I am now focusing on the basement and garage with good success. If I haven't used it in a year it is gone. I spend 15-30 minutes every evening after the girls go to bed tacking one closet, one box, one drawer, etc. in an effort to clean things out.

My weight has definitely been an issue in the last couple of years. But I have recently lost 27 lbs.!!!!! I'm making an effort to change my family's diet by adding extra fresh veggies and fruits. We talk at dinner about making good choices in what we eat. And I have successfully eliminated all soft drinks from my diet. That was tough. But I already feel better and look better. My next goal is to move. Some way everyday. Move my body more than I have been doing it.

I've made a concentrated effort to be better. To do better. To live better. To find the joy in doing little things again. And I feel so much better about it. Here is a quote from someone I know who gave me my "aha" moment: "You've got things backwards, Kristina. You can't wait to feel better to do something. You've got to do something to feel better." My life motto. Every time I move, whether it be exercise, housework, being with my kids, running errands or even reading, I feel better. My other "aha" moment came from Ali. I was complaining to her on Christmas Eve that I felt like I had worked so hard this year and was in exactly the same place as I was last year at this time. Her point? "You haven't gone backwards. Just sideways." That gave me some nice perspective as well. lol

So lots of rambling with lots of thoughts. But I have had so much in my head lately. Hope you can make some sense of it all!!