My Life in a Nut Shell

3 surgeries for Endometriosis, countless medications, and lots of difficult years trying to conceive. We put the medical stuff on hold and decided to work on being parents instead. In July of 2000 we were blessed beyond all measure with a phone call announcing the birth of our daughter, Megan. Megan's birth mother had given birth the day before and was leaving the hospital. We had no warning that Megan was coming. At 4:29 in the afternoon we were a couple, at 4:30 we were parents. Deciding that we wanted a sibling for Megan, we looked into all our options. This time insurance covered IVF. One round and we were blessed with triplets, Abigail, Brigid, and Caroline. Did you know that there is a 70% chance of divorce in families of Higher Order Multiples? Almost two years after the triplets were born my ex-husband and I separated and eventually divorced. During that time both my Mother and Father passed away from cancer. In February of 2007 my sister came to live with us to help out. In December of 2008 she had to leave so now it is me on my own with the girls. In February 2010, Lisa passed away and finally found her own Peace.

Friday, September 30, 2011


This is what happens what fat people exercise:

I've been walking with my neighbor/co-worker every evening after work.  We started maybe a month and a half ago.  About 3 weeks ago while walking with Cassie I felt a strange pop/burning sensation.  The next day my right ankle was swollen.  I walked on that thing for 3 WEEKS limping and feeling a lot of popping and burning.  My foot continued to swell.  Wednesday after work, while getting out of my van, I stepped wrong on that same foot and knew something was wrong.  Still I went to work yesterday.  By last night I couldn't stand the pain and swelling anymore.  So I loaded up 4 girls and off we went to the ER.  Since I don't have health insurance and could not get into the health clinic, I have learned that the ER has to treat you.  Since I don't make a lot, I usually get some sort of financial aid to cover the bill.  4 different x-rays of that ankle came back with the diagnosis.  Broken.  I've been walking on a broken foot for 3 weeks.  Geez.  So now I look fabulous in my crutches and splint. 

You know how I've always described a definition of hell?  Grocery shopping with 4 children.  I have a new definition of hell.  Grocery shopping with kids while driving one of those electric carts.  I ran over Abby's foot.  I almost ran over Brigid.  Words cannot describe what it was like.  Let's just say that I would rather have a root canal.  Without Novocaine. 

I'm supposed to stay completely off that foot.  No weight-baring at all.  So I went to work today and walked on it all day.  I'm too big for crutches.  Now I get to go to my 25th high school reunion with my foot in a splint/cast and on crutches.  There goes the heels. 

Think I could wear my tennis shoe with my dress?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Ways I Feel Rich

I'm going to the U of L football game on Saturday with Laura!  Woohoo!!  I'm so excited!!!  Laura is the incredibly beautiful person I sorta knew in high school.  You see, I was a nerd.  Ok, well I still AM.  But back then I was a quiet nerd who never spoke my mind for fear of what others would think.  I'm past that.  :)  Laura was in a group I never could hang with back then.   She used to model.  That kind of beautiful.  I still feel intimidated in her presence.  We connected through FB when I was getting a group of friends together to go see Sex and The City 2.  Laura was looking for some women to hang with so here we are today.  We are also going to be each other's dates for our 25th (!) reunion next Saturday.  Her husband isn't able to go and I of course do not have a date.  So in two weekends I get to get in some serious adult time.  I'm so excited!  I might have said that already.

I have some AMAZING friends.  Both IRL and a lot not IRL.  How could I not feel rich?  I don't ever feel like I say enough how thankful I am for everything they have done for me and more importantly, for my girls.  GRATITUDE ladies and gentlemen.  Earth shaking gratitude.  I love my life.

Oh and I might add that Abby cut her hair today.  Not sure where the gratitude is in that.  Thankful she knows how to use scissors?

Monday, September 26, 2011

The Seven Dwarfs of Depression, or you dress how you feel.

  You dress how you feel, you feel how you dress.  Kinda like the chicken or the egg thing.

Sometime after I  got my job at SMCDC I stopped wearing makeup.  No one else really wore it there.  I wore nursing scrubs everyday (that's our uniform) and just didn't feel like make-up went with the job.  Really only 3 year olds were going to see me all day and they didn't care if I wore antlers and polkadots, as long as I provided fun activities to do.  Yet I started to notice that I was starting to feel like I was dressing.  Schlumpy.  Frumpy.  Dumpy. Lumpy, Bumpy. Clumpy.  And Pitiful.

You know, the seven dwarfs of depression.  I dressed the way I felt.  And I felt the way I dressed.

That's me.  Frumpy Bunny.

 Fast forward to this summer and my boss's husband deciding that we should wear make-up and dress up a bit.  At first I was furious.  Are you actually saying I look like hell?!?!  How dare you!  And then it started to sink in and I was hurt.  Are you actually saying I look like hell? 

I've been released from wearing scrubs.  I get to wear normal clothes in keeping with my position, assistant manager.  Every morning I've gotten up, put makeup on, and dressed in nice clothes.  I'm excited at night to pick out nice clothes for the morning.  My children are so excited that they have told everyone they know that Momma now gets to dress fancy.  They pointed out that now I can come to school stuff in the evening and look nice.  I'm thinking they may have been embarrassed by how I was looking. 

Here's the amazing thing.  I'm starting to feel just a bit better about myself.  I'm still fat.  But I feel better.  I feel just a bit more excited about going to work everyday.  I'm hoping it shows at work.  I'm hoping my kids are seeing the importance of looking neat and tidy.  I hope to now start dressing like I feel.  And feeling like I'm dressed.

Now to find an outfit for my 25th high school reunion.  Anyone have something I can borrow that makes me look 60 lbs lighter? 

Sunday, September 25, 2011


I notice that when I type out most of my blog entries I start with the word so.  I often do it so that when you read this you feel like you are dropping right in the middle of my conversations.  I do this IRL too. 

So let me tell you my story.  See?  So here's what happened...

I'm not going to do that tonight.  Tomorrow maybe.

I started a Bible study with Jeremiah and Cassie.  I explained to them awhile back that I felt like I didn't really know the Bible.  In fact, I am intimidated by it.  I don't feel Holy enough to read it.  Mainly because I can't get my Father's voice out of my head when I start to read it.  He was an atheist you know.  He knew the Bible inside and out and loved to point out all the inconsistencies he said was in there.  I may have mentioned on here before that he said it was a good thing Jesus didn't hang himself or we would all be doing the sign of the noose.  I think right before my Dad died he may have had a change of heart.  I think he was hoping he would see my Mom again.

My faith journey has been one of may questions with very few answers.  The RCIA I attended at St. Louis Bertrand consisted of elderly people, very nice people, sitting in the basement of the parish hall for 2 hours on a Monday night overwhelming me with church doctrine.  Not the best way to learn the Bible for someone who was taught to view it with sarcasm.

Jeremiah offered to teach me the Bible from the basics.  Tonight he even had outlines!  I asked the smallest of questions.  Like "What do the numbers mean next to each group of sentences?"  Basic but when no one has ever told me, it was confusing!  Now I feel a renewed sense of purpose for reading the Bible.  I'm starting to understand it.  For me that is huge!!! 

It's still overwhelming for me but I am excited at the beginning.  I'm noticing little signs from everywhere.  Megan is obsessed with the movie Soul Surfer.  That's the story of Bethany Hamilton, the surfer who lost an arm in a shark attack.  AT one point she says she can't figure out how something this awful could be part of God's plan.  Today we were looking at clips on youtube about Bethany.  Several clips of her interviews always talk about God's plan for her.  Tonight while reading the Bible with Jeremiah, we talked about God's plan:

Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

This verse has come up in my life so many times.  Did you know that when I made our adoption portfolio I placed this verse in the very front of it?  Why does this verse often come up at what appears to be random times?  I feel like this verse keeps filtering in my life at the times I am looking for my gratitude.  Living a life of gratitude is a powerful thing.  Even Sheryl Crow has a line in Soka Up the Sun that the girls and I heard on the radio coming back from church.  (By the way, the priest even spoke of gratitude today.)  The line is:

I don't have digital, 
I don't have diddley squat
It's not having what you want
It's wanting what you've got

Ok so it's not the deepest way to put it.  But it makes a point.  I'm kinda feeling like God is waving every single flag he has at me to pay attention.  So I'm paying attention.  (yep, just used so again)

In other less deep news...

I turned into the Mean Mom of the Year yesterday.  I'm fed up with the mess.  I can't take it.  And  anytime I struggle with my depression, my house shows it.  So yesterday we started at 9 a.m. and did not finish until 4:30 p.m.  We stopped for to eat lunch and a trip to Kroger.  The shrieking that was heard from my open windows were the sounds of children who were not happy.  I felt like I should have gone to my neighbors to apologize for all the noise.  But I was not letting up. Everytime someone wandered off for downstairs I made them come back up. That's when the shrieking usually occurred. It was nice to sit down at dinner and talk about how good we all felt that the upstairs was clean enough to show off to their friends. Of course today the downstairs is a disaster but that's ok. There's always next weekend.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Say Yes to the Dress

It's Friday night.  I'm doing my usual.  I have four kids passed out on the floor downstairs.  Actually only three.  Number four is in my bed.  It's something I don't let happen very often but Brigid has had a rough way to go this week.  Friday nights in this house mean sleeping on the living room floor and watching the wedding marathon on TLC.  I love weddings.  I love everything about weddings.  The dress, the music, the floors, the reception, the promise and the hope that is represented by a wedding.  Everything.  I loved getting married.  I loved the excitement.  I LOVED my dress.

I'm pretty sure I tried this dress on almost everyday before the wedding.  I love my Mom here too.  That red dress looked amazing on her!!

I've been single for over 6 years.  There have been a few guys I dated.  One of whom I had fallen in love with.  Yet here I am today on a Friday night watching a wedding marathon and wishing it were me who was getting married.  I want the excitement of getting married again.   I want to feel that love.  I want to be in love with someone.  I want someone to love me. 

I'm very proud of being on my own.  I'm making it work.  My girls are growing up realizing that they each are responsible for taking care of themselves and making themselves happy.

No partner can save us, deliver us or give meaning to our lives. The source of our salvation, deliverance and meaning is within us. - Marianne Williamson
This doesn't mean that I don't want to find someone.  I've been on over the last 6 years without much luck.  I suppose on paper that I am not the most desirable person out there.  I'm chunky, I have 4 kids, I'm not Cameron Diaz.  I imagine we five ladies would be a lot to handle!
So I'll continue to have my Friday evening wedding fantasies.  But if any of you know a single wealthy, kindhearted man, please send him my way.  I'll even invite you to the wedding. 

Thursday, September 22, 2011


I cut my finger tonight.  Only I don't have any idea how I did that.  I was doing laundry, helping with homework, and trying on clothes for work tomorrow.  Brigid had the thermometer in her mouth and came to show me the temp she had.  Megan was home sick today with a temp and headache and Brigid was goofing around with the thermometer hoping she had a temp so she could sleep with me tonight.  Brigid was very whiny this evening with lots of tears.  I just attributed that to her field trip today where her class went canoeing.  So she comes in and asks what the numbers 99.9 mean.  Crap.  I took her temp again a second time to make sure she hadn't tried to make the thermometer go up higher.  When I reached for the thermometer that was when I realized I had cut the crap out of my finger.  I was bleeding everywhere.  I have absolutely no idea how I did it either.  Then I realized that I didn't have any bandages either.  (man I'm using the word realize a lot tonight).  I went to Cassie's again to borrow a bandage.

 I keep forgetting to buy those.

That made me think that I've been using a lot of bandages lately to fix things.  Financially, mentally, in work, friendships.  Instead of working hard to correct the issues I am having and letting things heal, I have been using a lot of bandages.  I'm starting to rip them off.  One at a time.  I'm starting with my faith.  Jeremiah, Cassie's husband, is going to lead me through a bible study for the next 8 weeks or so.  I'm excited about it.  And Jeremiah is excited about it.  Back in the summer when I was really struggling I sent in an email and a phone call to the Baptist Seminary for more info.  Amazingly in the last week I finished that life changing book, I set up a bible study, I've gotten a phone call from the seminary, and an email.  Do you think God is leading me somewhere?  I kinda feel that way.  So I'm going to quiet my negativity and let God lead me.  It feels good.

My job is changing too.  My boss and her husband have some really fantastic changes planned for our school.  Changes that have me really excited.  Changes that have me feeling like we are at the beginning of something amazing.  I get to start by leaving the scrubs behind.  I now get to dress professionally.  I never realized just how bad I was treating myself when I was hiding behind my scrubs.  I stopped wearing make-up.  I showered, dressed and left for work.  Now I'm taking the time to get myself ready with make-up, doing my hair, wearing jewelry.  It feels really good to take care of myself again.  There goes another bandage off.

I'm going to keep ripping them off.  One by one.  Until I am healed.  I've got a long way to go.  But I'm excited about the journey.

Saturday, September 17, 2011


Yesterday was an underwhelming day.  It started with Megan and I getting out late to catch her bus.  The bus driver has been super late 4 days in a row.  Yesterday he was early.  Megan was upset with me because I didn't rush her straight to school.  I have to be to work at 7 a.m.  I cook breakfast for all those preschoolers.  Yep 7 1/2 years in school and a Master's degree and I stand in the kitchen at 7 a.m. to cook breakfast for 30-40 kids.  My boss depends on me to get to work in a reasonable on-time fashion.  So I loaded up 4 kids and off we went.  Megan was not a happy camper.  We get to about 8:30 and she is fit to be tied.  I'm talking to the big boss in the kitchen and Megan kept opening the door to ask if we could leave.  I realize she is a kid and doesn't often understand that you have to respond to the person who signs your paycheck.  At 8:45 it was time to leave.  Megan was so mad because I wouldn't take her first and then her sisters to school.  As I was explaining that I wasn't going to make 3 other kids late just so she would be even later than late, she told me to shut up.  Whe I asked what did you say, her response was, "You heard me I told you to shut up." 

Needless to say Megan was grounded for that one.

Pretty good day at work after that lovely display.  We get home after work and Megan is mad because I won't let her go out and play.  So began the evening of keeping Megan inside.  We all hadn't had hair cuts since before school let out in the Spring.  I saw that the hair design place on Bardstown Rd. has $5 haircuts.  So I loaded up 4 grouchy kids in the car and off we went.  Only they don't give haircuts on Friday afternoons. Shit.  We went into Taco Bell next door and for $6 I fed my kids a dinner I did not have to cook or clean-up.

After we came home I called Ali.  She told me about $5 haircuts at SuperCuts.  I then loaded up (again) 4 grouchy, dirty kids and off we went.  Now we all look like we got $5 haircuts from the hair design school.  They are not good cuts.  But the ladies who cut the girls' hair were so amazingly friendly and nice, I didn't have the heart to say anything about our bad hair cuts.  I could have cut the girls hair and it might have looked better.  The girls are happy with their cuts nonetheless.

I might also add that during this whole evening I had to deal with screaming, crying, rude, disprectful young ladies who were not happy about having been dragged out of the house twice in one evening to try and get haircuts.  I couldn't do it on Saturday as the girls are with their Dad.  There was name calling, and pushing, and general painintheassness going around.

I rented Soul Surfer for the girls to watch when it got dark.  The movie came from Red Box and had scratches all over it so we had to watch a movie that kept sticking and skipping.  That only added to the grouchiness.  I popped two bags of popcorn.  Towards the end of the movie Megan and Abigail started to physically fight and in the process the big bowl of popcorn ended up all over the floor. 

That was the final straw for me.  I sent everyone up to bed and all I wanted to shout was:

"I had a religious epiphany yesterday!!  Don't you know my life should be different today?"

After what I went through on Thursday I just assumed, hoped, that I would wake upon Friday morning and things would be different.  My life would be instantly recognizable to anyone who knows me that somehow my life was different.  Maybe I thought I should win the lottery.  Or my boss would give me a raise.  Or Prince Harry (damn he is yummy) would somehow swoop in and make my life feel better.  It was a let down.  I was underwhelmed by it all.

So today I am going to continue to go about my life the only way I know.

"You just put one foot in front of the other and soon you'll be walking out the door."

That's the only way I know how.  I'll just get up everyday.  Keep going.  One foot in front of the other.

Or I just may take a nap.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Careful this could be long and you will think I'm nuts if you are a skeptical person.

This started at 3 a.m. this morning.  I woke up with two bad dreams.  It's amazing the clarity you get at 3 a.m.  You wake up and it's just complete and utter clearness about what needs to be done and feelings you have.  I had a new sense of calm and gratitude in my life.  I finally feel like myself again.

Fast forward to this morning and driving to work.  It was dark, cloudy, and rainy.  Yet I still felt at peace.  I make breakfast, deal with kids, the craziness of my work environment.  I take my girls to school, come back to work, and continue on with the day.  Then all of a sudden out of nowhere the sky clears and it is a beautiful, crisp, Fall morning.  Amazing.  Here's where I make my analogy.  It was like my Faith, my Peace was coming out of a long, dark, rainy morning and had become a beautiful, crisp, Fall morning.  I've weathered the storm, so to speak.  (cliche I realize but it does fit.)

Fast forward to leaving for my boobie appointment.  As I leave, I drop by the Carriage House because Cassie asked me to come.  She handed me a beautiful pink Bible!  And yes I will be using the word beautiful throught this post tonight.  I love that word.  It was a gift for my journey of Faith.  She prayed with me and off I went.  I had a marvelous discussion with God on the drive to the Brown Cancer Center.  It went something like this:

"Ok God.  Here it is.  I need you to make sure this cyst is nothing.  I can't be taken away from my girls.  I am all they have.  You know the situation they would be in without me.  So you have to make sure I am ok."

Probably not the Holiest of prayers but c'mon.   I wasn't raised to pray.

I get to the Cancer Center and continue reading this book Cassie gave me.  It's called The Same Kind of Different as Me.  I've mentioned it here before.  It's the story of two men brought together by a woman of unbelievable Faith.  Denver is a black man raised in modern day slavery as a sharecropper's kid in Louisiana.  He was homeless for 30 years.  Drugs, alcohol, crime, and jail.  What a hard road to travel.  Ron and his wife Deborah are wealthy people of Faith.  Ron is an art dealer.  His wife says that God has been talking to her and wants her to help the homeless.  She convinces her husband to help.  Her amazing journey as a Godly person is detailed throughout this book.  She says that God told her husband to befriend Denver.  They begin to forge an unlikely friendship. 

So I'm reading the story in the lobby and begin the part about Deborah dying from cancer.  I'm choking up in the lobby.  I'm thinking oh please don't let anyone see me crying.  They'll think I have cancer and that's why I'm upset.  Stupid, I know.  All through out my journey at the Cancer Center I'm reading the rather lengthy time this poor woman is dying and how her Faith and the Faith of those around her are being affirmed.  I finally get to the part where she dies and is buried at the exact moment the doctor comes in and tells me everything is fine and I can come back in  months to keep an eye on things. 

Here's where I'm making the stretch:  Her Faith journey comes to end as I find out I'm living.  My worry has been put to death.  My dark days of no Faith are over and buried in the ground.   If you don't believe that God sends messages everywhere than this should prove He does.  My whole Faith journey in the last few weeks can mirrored in this book!!

I scoffed (man I've been wanting to use that word here lately.  As in, 'He scoffed at the notion that there were no chips to go with his fish.')  at the idea of reading this book.  I like Cassie.  I respect her and her husband's Faith.  But I did not want to read any sort of Christian literature.  I thought it would be all Holy and crap.  Seeing as how I do respect and have come to love this couple, I started reading the book.  I'm glad I did.

Right before Deborah dies, Denver tells Ron that Earthly chains are holding Deborah here when all she wants to do is return home to God.  Denver goes into her room by himself and tells Deborah (who is in a coma),  "It's ok Miss Debbie to leave.  I will continue your ministry in helping the homeless and helping others find their Faith."  Not too long after, Deborah dies. 

After the appointment, I drive to the Dirty Kroger.  Man it is dirty too.  On the way there I was mulling over what Denver said and was trying to figure out how I could help the homeless.  As if I am even in a position to help anyone who is homeless.  I'm like one paycheck away from being homeless myself.  I kept thinking about why I don't have these spiritual epiphanies like othees seem to do.  I'm mulling, thinking, talking out loud when it hits me like mack truck.  (And what is a mack truck BTW??  Why isn't it a johnny truck, or alex truck, or carson truck?)   I BELIEVE.  I BELIEVE like the intensity of thousands suns in a thousand solar systems.  I belive.  And Denver kept his promise to Deborah.  He had reached the Faithless in this world (ME) by telling his journey.  Deborah had a direct line from God though her through Denver.

Isn't God amazing!!!!!

I found my Gratitude

I woke up at 3 a.m. with two very vivid dreams.  One about my Mom and one about my niece, Ana.  The first thing I did (well after going potty,  I did carry triplets and the ol' bladder ain't what she used to be), was to email my niece and apologize for being so wrapped up in my own misery that I have neglected her. 

Then a funny thing happened.  I found my gratitude.  I started typing my gratitude list last night with the idea that there had to be SOMETHING I was grateful for. The first line comes from this book Cassie gave me to read, Same Kind of Different as Me.   A homeless alcholic was grateful that he woke up everyday so that made him happy.  After spending about 15 minutes I realize that I have soooooo much to be grateful for!  It might not be the level that someone who makes a million dollars a year and lives in a spectacular life kind of grateful.  But it is MY grateful.

Facebook has this new thing where it shows you your status update from a year ago.  Here's mine:

Kristina Jorgensen Harrigan
Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone... to bring you flowers."- Veronica A. Shoffstall Amen to that!!
How fitting that I see this at 3 a.m.  If you don't believe that God doesn't show you things in his own time then this should prove it.  I had two bad dreams.  I wake up to find that statement right there.  At 3 a.m.  Did I mention that already?  Why on earth would anyone just randomly wake up and see that very statement that I have been struggling with for weeks???  Why now? 
Because God has a plan for all of us!!!!  "The will of God will never lead you where the Grace of God can't keep you." 
I have more Grace than most people!  How else could I survive??  Because the Grace of God is with me.  Everyday!  Every second of every day.
Thank you God for your amazing Blessings.  For my children.  I mean really.  How lucky can one person get in a lifetime??  I struggled for YEARS and prayed every second for God to give me a child.  And what did he do?  He gave me FOUR! 
God is good. 

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Today was one of those days where I'm pretty sure God was just smacking me around.  Seriously.  What a horrible day.  I could drone on endlessly with a long list of the crap going on but I won't.  Because, really, it's just more of the same.   I keep being told that God has a plan for me.  I just want God's plan to include some really good luck too.  So instead of boring my dear readers with a long list of shit,  I'm going to post the positives today:

I woke up.
I had clean underwear.
I made a good lunch in preschool today.
I ate said lunch.
I had gas in my car.
I made stir fry tofu for dinner (ok according to my kids though this isn't a positive).
My children were ALL up and ready this morning on time.
All 4 kids got homework done, agendas signed, backpacks by the front door, and clothes picked out for picture day tomorrow.
I walked with Cassie on our evening exercise walk.
I have air conditioning.
I have utilities.
I'm using free internet.
My jamas were clean.
I have lunch packed for tomorrow.
My cats love me.
I love my cats.
My girls had friends to play with today.
I did the dishes tonight after dinner.
I have a meal ready to go in the crockpot tomorrow.
I'll have dinner ready when we get home tomorrow afternoon.
I get to get my haircut and so do my girls.
I visited with friends. 
I have a great book I'm reading.
Megan let Brigid sleep with her this evening and helped her pick out an outfit for school tomorrow.
My boss and I had a great laugh today.
God has given me another day in which to spend with my children.
Diet Dr. Pepper (well actually it's Diet Dr. K)
I have my wits about me.  Mostly.

You know when I started typing this list I felt bad.  After seeing everything on this list, things aren't as bad as I think they are.  I am really Blessed!

And while you are at it, I am requesting a selfish prayer.  Tomorrow's my appointment to have my boobies poked with a needle.  Well actually only one boobie.  And it's lots of needles.  May my boobies be on your mind all day tomorrow.  :)

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Do I really look like that?

I got a call from the trio's teacher last night.  Just some general stuff, homework, agendas, etc.  I'm having a terrible time at home with keeping those 3 organized.  Megan is a dream student.  Homework is always done, things are signed, she is neat and organized.  Abigail, Brigid, and Caroline are not at all.  Mrs. Erny explained that the girls are forgetting homework, getting agendas signed, etc.  She then suggested that I have a place by the front door for their things to keep them organized.  I wanted to scream.  2 feet from the front door is a basket for shoes.  Each child has a hook 3 feet from the front door for backpacks, and 12 inches from the front door each girl has a coat hook.  So in an area of 3 feet are 3 different methods for staying organized.  And I find one shoe in the car, one under a bed (the same kid's mind you), shoes under the table, outside, backpacks in beds, agendas under the coffee table.  It's enough to make this OCD person scream. 

Back to the conversation:  Mrs. Erny says that the girls are already behind in the morning because they are coming in late from the cafeteria downstairs.  Apparently my 3 lovely ladies had convinced their teacher and cafeteria ladies that they were coming from home, were not being fed, and were starving.  So these wonderfully kind ladies (I just love the staff at the girls' school) have taken pity on the children, who come from a single parent home and are starving, and have been letting them eat breakfast at 9 a.m.  I had to explain to Mrs. Erny that I have to be to work at 7 a.m.  The girls come with me.  I cook the breakfast for my entire preschool in the morning (yes me who hates to cook).  Which means my children are eating  breakfast EVERYDAY before they get to school.  I take my lunchbreak EVERYDAY at 8:45 a.m. in order to drive my girls to school.  I then explained that Brigid often eats breakfast at 6:30 in the morning before we even leave for my work.  So by 9:15 a.m. Brigid has eaten THREE breakfasts.  Yep, 3.  Nice.  Mrs. Erny and I realized we have been duped by 3 cunning young ladies. 

Which leads me to my topic of discussion tonight.  (Damn, I'm long-winded.  Is this what I sound like to everyone??)  Our school is participating for the first time in Blessings in a Backpack.  This program, in conjunction with Kentucky Harvest, sends meals home on the weekends for kids who really don't have anything to eat on the weekends.  Wonderful program and I was glad to see it started at our school.  A good friend of mine, also a co-worker, helped to bring this program to our school.  They have enough to help out 30 families in our school.  I've even offered to donate backpacks to the program.  Imagine my surprise when I opened up Brigid's folder to find an application for Blessings in a Backpack.  Apparently we have been identified as a family in need. 

I felt like I had been punched in the gut.

Here's why.  (I mulled this over with my husband Ali because I make most decisions after talking to her.)  I realize we are what is considered a poverty level family.  I realize that.  I work my ass off everyday, day in day out, yet still struggle.  BUT I DON'T FEEL POOR.  I feel Blessed.  Most of the time.  The walk of shame to the food stamp office makes me feel poor.  The nut doctor I see at Seven Counties makes me feel poor.  Having my healthcare needs taken care of in a free clinic because I don't have health insurance, makes me feel poor.  But every other day in my life I feel Blessed to have what I have.  I work hard for it.  My children are clean, well-educated, we attend church, the girls are in Girl Scouts, we've been in books and magazines, we have a HUGE circle of amazing friends, and I laugh everyday. 

So why is it that to outsiders, we look poor?  Do I really look like that?

Do we look so downtrodden that others often feel sorry for us, pity us, and feel we need help??  I work so hard not to appear that way.  And I HATE asking for help.  Just ask Ali.

Yet here in the course of 24 hours I discover that my children were being treated to breakfast because school staff felt like I was hurrying them out the door without being fed and we are being offered assistance for food on the weekends.  Oh my goodness.  I NEVER want anyone to pity me or our situation.  I am proud of where I am at because I have worked hard for all that we have.  Four short years ago I had a nervous breakdown and couldn't hold a job.  I lost my house.  I had nothing.  And in two and a half years I have a job, a nice place to live, food to eat, a van, and even some small luxuries.  I have a laptop I bought with tax money, I have a digital camera.  We go out to eat once in awhile.  We rent movies.  WE LIVE.

In a poor family, there is often a fat person or two.  (Ok in this family there is one, me)  Do you know why?? Because often times the only gifts a family on food stamps can afford is FOOD.  I may not be able to buy new clothes or go out to dinner with friends but I sure can make a dozen cupcakes.  I can shower my kids with movie night snacks at home.  I can sit in front of my computer every night and eat a snack to feel like I am pampering myself.  Food is what we have.  Other luxuries we do not.  So the next time you see a fat person in line offer up a food stamp card, please do not assume that the person is eating steak and lobster everyday.  It's because we can afford a multitude of carbs i.e. mac and cheese, spaghetti, bread, and we can afford to bake and give our families the only luxuries we have.  Food.

Kinda makes you think doesn't it??

So now I'm off to stare in the mirror for awhile.  I gotta work on getting that poor person look off of me.  Or I'm libel to come home with a form offering me free room and board at the mission.

Saturday, September 10, 2011


Cleaning my house again.  This is a regular theme on here.  We are having Cassie and Jeremiah, and their girls over for dinner tonight.  It's beautiful outside today.  I've sent all 4 girls outside to play with all the kids in the neighborhood.  Have I told you how much I love living here????  It's good to be a kid in this neighborhood. There have to be 10-12 outside riding bikes, scooters, running, and just enjoying life. 

That's what I am going to do today.  Just enjoy life.  Not worry about any pending bills, work issues, etc. 

Focusing on my gratitude and how grateful I am that I can have a day like today.

God is good.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Much better today

Today ended up being a much easier day than I thought.  Things flowed pretty smoothly at work.   If nothing else the kiddos at my preschool certainly make me laugh!!  We have a new teacher at our school and she is marvelous!  We also hired another teacher yesterday only to have her quit in one day.  I've been at the same place for 2 1/2 years already.  I always said I needed to find a place to stand still for awhile and I have.  It's just been frustrating to have so many young people start at this job and then quit.  No warning, no notice, nothing.  I guess because I finally realize that my children depend on me to stay at my job.  No matter how frustrated I get or how bad a day I have, I still get up the next morning and go to work.  My family depends on it.  My boss depends on me.

  I'm thankful that I have a boss who is so flexible with my schedule.  How many bosses do you know that would let an employee take TWO lunch breaks everyday for 3 weeks so their child can go to Arabic camp?  Kristen never once complained.  Not once.   I may not have health insurance or sick leave, but  the flexibility with my schedule is HUGE.  That's why I don't understand people just quitting. 

Another thing I don't understand is the type of person like the young lady who called today asking if we were hiring.  First off, my Dad taught me that when cold calling, you should give your name first.  Not just say,  "Are you hiring?" Second, don't say I will only work for this dollar amount.  She quoted a dollar amount that was well above what I make.  I explained that I am assistant manager and don't make that amount.  Her response?  "Well I have my CDA and I'm working towards my Bachelor's degree.  I explained that I have my MASTER'S degree and still don't make that amount. So she hung up.

I think I'll call the mayor tomorrow.  I'll tell him I want a job and want to make $200,000 a month.  When he says no then I'll say well I have my Master's degree so pay me that and more.

 Good frickin'grief.

My girls came home this afternoon and cleaned the playroom AND the living room.  Why you may ask?  Because I dangled a little carrot in front of them. You know the one.  You may sleep downstairs in front of the TV tonight if you help out.  There was no arguing, no yelling, just complete kindness and busy-ness.  I love my girls.  :)

After dinner, Megan went to ask the girls if they could spend the night tomorrow night.  They are our neighbor girls. Megan took Caroline and Abigail with.  Two minutes later they come busting through the door with a good piece of news.  Someone from the trio's class has moved in 4 doors down from us.  The family is officially from Nigeria.  So I spent a good half hour outside visiting with the Dad and the little girl.  She then came inside and played with the girls.

I love where I live.  And that is just so wonderful.

Today I found my gratitude.  And I feel fucking fantastic inside. Hello gratitude.  It's been awhile.  I'm glad you are here.  I hope you stay for a llllooooonnnnnnggggg time.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

The Walk of Shame

At least that is what I call.  You know, the bi-annual visit to the food stamp office.  Just so my kids can eat.  I hate it.  I really do.  I dread going.  I keep thinking to myself that I really am not that poor. 

But I really am.

Today I had to take the girls with me because my appt. was a 3 p.m. and I knew I wouldn't get done in time to pick them up from school.  So we all got to enjoy the misery together.  I give my girls credit.  They really did well with the waiting.

Then we went to Target to pick up my blood pressure medicine. Nice.  Can't imagine why my blood pressure is high...

We came home, had a crappy dinner, played outside.  I walked with Cassie again this evening.  Feels nice to do that.  Cassie mentioned that she and her Mom used to walk together.  That reminded me of how MY Mom and I used to walk together all the time too.  That made me miss my Mom.  :(

I discovered from Cassie that one of the teachers we hired at school quit today after I left.  She worked a day.  Then quit. 

We come in the house and showered.

At 9 p.m.  Megan decides to do homework.  She needed scissors.  I blew up.

It's like that book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.  You know.  If you give a mouse a cookie he'll want a glass of milk to go with it.  If you send Kristina to the food stamp office she will blow up at her kid.

Now I feel awful.  I apologized to Megan and tried to help her out.  Today I am done.  I can't help one more person, one more kid, one more cat, one more human being.  I am tapped out.  I am feeling more tapped out everyday.  My depression is wearing me down and I'm trying desperately to get out of it. 

But here's the important thing... I AM NOT asking for help from anyone.  I need to work this out myself.  I am not looking for a financial handout.  I am not looking for pity.  You know that saying, "Give a man a fish, he eats for a day, teach a man to fish he eats for a lifetime."  (or something like that.)  I don't want a band-aid which is what help would be right now.  A band-aid.  I need to get out of this myself.  Whether it's a new job, new city, new apartment, whatever, I need to do it for myself.  Or I will never feel better. 

So tonight I will go to bed, sleep, and get up tomorrow morning and go to work.  Because it's what I do.  It's what my children need me to do.  Not doing to well in finding my gratitude today.

Gonna try again tomorrow. 

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

So Why Would I Stop Now?

I'm being quite prolific here.

Since I am taking a self-imposed hiatus from Facebook, I find myself writing more here.  I've been open about everything since I started this blog almost 4 years ago.  My divorce, my ex, my kids, my foreclosure and subsequent bankruptcy, my depression, weight, dating, jobs, and my sister.  So I'm going to tell you that  next Thursday the 15th I'm going in for a needle aspiration/biopsy of a cyst on my right breast. 

I don't have health insurance so I've let a lot of things go as far as my health is concerned.  I go to a local health clinic and pay based on my income and family size.  I'm on estrogen since I had my hysterectomy 5 years ago.  My doctor at the clinic wouldn't write a new prescription for the estrogen unless I had a baseline mammogram.  After much grumbling and a shitload of hot flashes, I went.  I got an abnormal result.  So off to the Brown Cancer Center I went.  And damn, dontcha know I have a cyst with an irregular border.  Apparently my right breast is what the doctor described as a "busy breast."  Lots of cysts.  After years of infertility treatments and carrying triplets, I've gotten pretty good at reading ultrasounds.  I could see all of those cysts so easily.  But this one cyst looks different.  So I get to go next Thursday to make sure it's OK.


I don't have time for this.  I really don't.  I'm worried but trying not to worry.  I don't even want to go there.  And the worst part?  While laying on that table, having my breast manipulated and ultrasounded, all I could think was that I don't have health insurance and how the hell was I going to pay for this?  I was told not to worry about that.  As long as I have a health card from the clinic it won't cost me a thing.  Now how sad is it that I'm more worried about my inability to pay vs. my health?  Don't even get me started.

So, as usual, prayers for this chick.  Thank goodness God seems to be listening and answering prayers.  I've survived a lot thanks to prayers. 

Do you think I've used up my quota of prayer requests?

Adventures in Vegetarianism

Two of my girls have declared themselves vegetarians.  Megan and Caroline.  Megan has played with it on and off for over a year.  Caroline finally realized where the food came from that we have been eating.  So over a discussion at dinner one night in late June, we as a family decided to go for a month without eating meat.  Over the course of the month of July we ate one vegetarian meal after another.  It was fun trying to come up with a million different ways to eat (well 31 ways actually) without meat.  We tried a LOT of tofu.  Tofu by itself can best be described as eating wet toilet paper.  At least that is how I assume wet toilet paper would taste.  The only tofu related item that we all agreed was FABULOUS was Caribbean spiced tofu from Whole Foods.  It's only about $4 and made enough for two meals.  I sliced it and fried it up Spam-style.  We've eaten it twice since July and both times the girls loved it.  The tofu meatless crumbles are fantastic too.  We use that for taco filling in place of meat.  I just add taco seasonings and BOOM.  Tasty tacos.

Another item that we discovered we love is falafel.  The first time I made it, it was a disastrous mess.  The second time?  Much better.  I was impressed with everyone's attitude of trying something at least once that month. 

One of our most favorite meals is "being French for dinner."  I buy French bread, strawberry jam, brie, sparkling apple juice (because it feels like French wine), and LOTS of fresh fruit.  That meal is a hands down winner. 

I noticed a few things about that experiment for July.  First, it really didn't affect my pocketbook.  In fact since I wasn't buying meat as an anchor at any meal, my grocery bill was smaller.  Second, Abby CANNOT go without meat!  She is a hard and fast carnivore!!  Third, Megan cannot give up hamburgers.  Try as she might, it is not something she wants to go without.  Fourth, Brigid will try anything vegetable-related.  She LOVES them!  Fifth, Caroline will absolutely not eat meat.  And if I do eat meat, she will remind me repeatedly that my burger used to have a Mom, that my fish used to swim, and that my pork chop used to breathe.  That makes it very tough to eat meat with her in the house.

So after our experiment for July, we are cutting back tremendously on the amount of red meat we eat in this house.  When I do make anything containing animal parts, I have to make a vegetarian offering for Caroline.  She is really enjoying her veggie chicken nuggets, veggie burgers, and veggie ribs.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

You might be poor if...

I've never thought of myself as poor.  According to national guidelines, we live at about the poverty level for family size.  I've made sure my girls are exposed to so many things.  The trio are in girl scouts, Megan is in choir, we sightsee in this city.  We have sleepovers, visit friends, and generally have a good time.  During a discussion with a friend, it was pointed out that yes, I really am poor.  Ouch.  So I sat down and thought of some ways that might suggest how a poor person lives.

You might be poor if...

You use bargain napkins for toilet paper because you ran out and it's 3 days until payday

Your bed is held together with duct tape and pvc pipe

You are missing a tooth

beans and rice, rice and beans

  Ramen noodles are the main course for dinner


You shop at Whole Foods with your food stamp card

You know where to get grocery help if you run out of food

You've used shoelaces to hold up your pants

You've regifted something because you don't have the money to buy a birthday present

Your last week of meals for the month are a mish mash of whatever is left in the cabinet

You've used bar soap to wash your hair when you run out of shampoo and vice versa

You've put $7 in your gas tank so you can drive to work for two days

Trash can lids make great sleds

Socks work as gloves

You've made pull-ups with duct tape, towels, and plastic bags

You were $6.02 short for rent so your neighbor got you a money order FOR $6.02

I would love to see if you have anything you have done while being poor.  Any and all suggestions are welcome!

Monday, September 5, 2011

2 Not 1

There is this amazing man here in Louisville who started an organization called 2 Not 1.  How do I know him?  His children attend school with my girls.  The goal of his organization is to promote fatherhood and getting fathers involved with their children.  I bring this man, Shawn Gardner and his organization up because of what happened this evening.  My ex brought the girls home early.  I'm not surprised.  He does this all the time.  He can't handle more than 24-36 hours with the girls.  It's really sad.  I've tried endlessly to get him involved with the lives of his children.  With no luck.  I don't understand why he doesn't feel the need to stay involved with his children.  They are amazing young ladies!!!  And he is missing out.  So sad.  It's been over 6 years and we are still dealing with the same issues.  The girls didn't get showers all weekend.  They tell me of bugs and messes everywhere.  Yet there doesn't seem to be a thing I can do about it.  I'm frustrated because for my girls they are learning that men aren't in the picture.  Ever.  I feel Blessed for Ali's husband, Bob, and Jeremiah, my neighbor because they let my girls see what a man is supposed to be like in the lives of their children.  What will this do for my girls when they are dating?  Will they seek out men like their father?  Will they believe it's ok to be with men who behave like this?  I try all the time to point out that this isn't what men are like.  At least I hope this isn't what men are like.   He dropped them off a half hour before bedtime so then it's a flurry of showers and activity to get ready for school tomorrow.  I'm frustrated.

 I'm tired of being frustrated.


I'm finally getting to sleep in two days in a row.  That happens maybe twice a year if I am lucky.  Unfortunately sleeping in today meant 8 a.m.  I guess since I get up at 5:30 every morning I should be glad I got to sleep almost 3 hours longer.  It's just that I want to sleep in like the old days.  You know, noon.   While laying on the couch (because my bed is covered in laundry) I got to thinking.  About God.  I have these lovely neighbors.  The husband is at the Baptist Seminary.  The wife works with me at my job.  They are beyond lovely.  Their faith is so unbelievably strong.  Just like Abigail and Caroline.  Those two young ladies speak of God all the time.  Caroline carries around a prayer book and reads it everyday.  Abby sings about God.

 I was raised in an atheist household.  My Mom was very spiritual and spoke often about her beliefs.  When she learned she was dying she told me she wasn't worried.  She had seen Heaven in her dreams and knew she was heading to a better place to finally be with her parents, two brothers, and sister.   My Dad, on the otherhand, used to point out all the inconsistencies about religion.  He did not come to my baptism as an adult.  He just thought it was foolish.  When he learned that I was wanting to become Catholic he made quite a stink about it.  He told me that it was a good thing Jesus wasn't hung.  Otherwise we Catholics would be making the sign of the noose. 

At the beginning (no not when God created the Earth), I started to go to church with my ex simply because I wanted to do what he was doing.  I was always interested in going to church and now I had a reason.  In this city you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Catholic so it just seemed like the faith to pick.  Every September there is a high school football game between two rival Catholic schools, Trinity and St. X.  There are over 40,000 fans that pack U of L's football stadium.  If someone dropped a bomb on the stadium, most of the Catholics in Louisville would be wiped out.  Every Sunday I would go with my ex to church.  Every Sunday I would feel like I had come home.  It just felt right.  I went through the process of becoming Catholic.  I am glad I did.  I really am.  I made a committment with my ex to raise our girls within the Catholic faith. 

Now though I really feel like my faith is being tested.  I still want to believe.  I do.  I have crosses and religious pictures and sayings all over my house.  Even the quote, "For we walk by faith, not by sight" is up in my house.  I have to read it constantly.  Still my faith is tested.  Everyone likes to say that God doesn't give you any more than you can handle. 

So why does God give me so much to handle

Does He think I'm some kind of superwoman??? 

The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God can not keep you.

That's what I'm holding on to.  I have so much Grace I could be Grace Kelly.  I keep trying to read the Bible.  I have many lengthy conversations with God.  I'm just in a struggle.  That's part of why I left Facebook for awhile.  My Grace, My Faith is being shaken and I don't like it.  I'm not looking at other people's fortunes and being happy for them.  Instead I'm becoming resentful.  I'm losing my Grace.  I don't like that.

I feel that God puts people in your life at the right times.  Not by coincidence.  Jeremiah and Cassie are such people.  I'm going to look to them to see what such a strong Faith looks like.  I embarrassingly confided to Jeremiah that I have a hard time reading the Bible because I don't understand it.  And don't you know he explained how the Bible was laid out.  In very simple terms for this lay person to understand.

I'm going to keep praying.  And searching.  And working. And trying not to question the inconsistencies just like my Dad did.  And hoping that my will to believe, my desire to believe will eventually lead me to my Faith to believe.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

And the fun continues

I've managed to empty four boxes of crap this evening.  All paperwork that I really needed to go through.  I keep everything.  I even had receipts from the first time I bought maternity clothes!  I was so excited to be pregnant that I wanted to remember everything.  The pay stubs from 20 years ago finally went.  All this while watching more Star Wars and talking with Ali on the phone!

I also might be missing my girls.  They wear me out.  The really do.  I'm so tired at the end of the day some days that all I want to do is cry.  BUT I miss them sooooo much!
<------------------I love this picture!  This was during a rather rough patch in weather this summer.  There they all are on the floor of my micro-kitchen.  Yep.  They are covering the ENTIRE floor space in my kitchen.  Somedays (ok most days) I really wish I had a bigger kitchen.  This room is the inner most room in our apartment.  From L to R is Megan (holding Ella Enchanted), Brigid, Abigail, and Caroline.  Caroline is the lump under the yellow and white blanket (didi).  They were so scared and so tired that they just passed out.  A friend keeps trying to get me to buy a house.  I gotta tell you I love being able to call my landlord if something breaks. I'm not responsible financially for the big stuff that goes wrong.  So I guess I'll take my micro-kitchen over a mortgage anyday.

 Here's another picture I love.  My advanced program kid right there.  I'll not explain any further.  I mean, really, there is no explanation for this.  Other than I love this kid.  It's been a long time since I've seen Megan being silly.  I gotta tell you I LOVE it.
Here's another picture that I love.   All four girls swimming at our apartment pool.  I can tell you if I owned my home it wouldn't have a pool.  We had the whole pool to ourselves that day.  All the fun with none of the expense or maintenance.  That was a lovely afternoon.  Makes feel rich just thinking about it!

Well back to my Star Wars marathon.  The Empire Strikes back.  I've been watching Star Wars all day. 

Geez I need to find  guy.  Just don't tell him what a nerd I am.  :)

I need a hobby

So I'm back on here.  Being off FB is hard!!   Aaarrrggghhhh!  So with all this available time I'm searching the internet for various things.  Like Megan's birthMother.  I know I shouldn't.  I really shouldn't.  I should just respect her privacy.  But I want to see a picture.  Just one picture.  And see?  I used the word "but".  Dr. Phil says that when you use the word "but" you negate the words right before the word "but".  Like I know I'm fat BUT I love food.  I might as well just say I love food.  At this rate, I'll have an entire book written before Tuesday.  I told Ali this is what happens when I'm without kids for 3 days.  My brain gets working.  Sometimes for good.  Sometimes not so much.  I need my friend Michele S. to give me some pointers on how to search for someone.  I do pretty well on my own though. 
By the way, here is a recent picture of me.  I look rather snazzy here.  Not like a Mom of 4 kiddos.  At least I would like to think that.  One of the few decent pics of me.  Usually there are pictures of my feet in everything because I really don't like pics of myself posted anywhere.  BUT I needed a good pic for my account. 

<-----------------  Now who wouldn't want to date this?  It might have something to do with the fact that I am fat.  Or maybe it's the fact that I have 4 kids, 3 of whom are triplets.  I'm quite the catch don't you think?   I might have also mentioned that I like the Star Wars movies.  That might have been one detail too many.  I mean who wouldn't want to date a fat, Star Wars-loving gal like me?

I need a hobby. 

Yep. I'm blogging again.

So I gave up Facebook for awhile and now I'm going through withdrawals.  I'm used to checking it many times a day.  Since I don't have that to do I'm finding time today to clean my filthy apartment.  Something about depression and not cleaning that go hand in hand.  I hate depression.  I really do.  It is an effort to get up everyday and do my job.  I'm trying to adjust to a change in meds and am hoping that change occurs quickly.  I really don't have time for apathy.  It's like that wonderful line in Star Wars about hate leading to suffering (ok so I'm watching the Star Wars marathon on Spike TV today).  Depression leads to apathy leads to disorganization leads to suffering.  At least that is how it feels.  So today I am following my own best advice:  You can't wait to feel better to get moving, you have to get moving to feel better.  Today I am making myself move when all I really want to do is sleep.  I know that if I crawl in that bed I will not get up and things in this apartment will only get worse.  Right now I'm tackling the 3rd bathroom.  Since we've only need the two bathrooms, the third bathroom has been turned into a storage room.  Only I want to start using that bathroom again. Now I'm knee deep in papers and boxes.  The girls are with their Dad this weekend.  This does give me the opportunity to get lots done.  Back to the paperwork I go. 

I'm sure I will be back on here soon.

I'm baaaaccckkkk!!!!

Wow it's been almost a year since I've written anything on here.  My sister's birthday to be exact last November.  Facebook is a big reason why I stopped updating.  That and I Think the desire to hide my life from certain people.  But now I don't care about hiding.  I am who I am.  Flaws and all.  I never claimed to be perfect.  Just trying to make my way in the world the best way I know how.  Here is what has been happening in a nutshell (because a nut is exactly who I am).

Brigid had two surgeries.  The first in December was for her kidneys.  She had the upper right portion of her right kidney removed.  She should have been in overnight.  Instead we were there for 5 days.  It was a rough way to go for her for those first few days.  The good news is that she has almost no symptoms to speak of. 

Brigid and our Lt. Govenor who came to visit

We had a fabulous Christmas thanks to some amazing angels:

Brigid and a whole lotta presents
We then pretty much jumped right into the year with the knowledge that Brigid was going to have to brain surgery.  She has a Chiari Malformation.  In it's most basic description, Brigid's brain sits too far back on her spinal column.  She had major surgery that required SEVEN days in the hospital.  That poor kid!  She is now almost completely symptom free.  We also learned that because Brigid is a triplet, her sisters carry a higher than normal chance of having it themselves.  And wouldn't you know it...Caroline has one as well.  Right now we are taking a wait and see approach to her Chiari.  Her symptoms though are much more pronounced than Brigid's.  She has daily headaches.

Brigid's incision

Brigid had LOTS of headaches at first

Caroline and Abigail waiting to have their MRIs

So that took up most of our Spring.  I'm still at the same preschool.  Only now I am the assistant manager.  It's been a long summer with some staff changes but I think we are finally in an upswing.  The best part is we are completely full with a waiting list!

Megan graduated 5th grade.  It was bittersweet.  I hated that she was leaving Field and I would now have children at two different schools.  Though I am excited at being the parent of a middle schooler!!  That amazing young lady got into the advanced program math/science/technology magnet at Meyzeek.  She is that smart.

Last day of 5th grade

The other amazing thing Megan did was to take part in a 3 week long Arabic camp this summer.  She was in with other middle and high school students.  3 weeks of intensive schooling.  What kind of a kid wants to do that??  Megan, that's who.  Such a driven, intelligent young lady.  I am lucky to be her Mom.

Yep.  She ended up in the paper

Abigail continues to plug along singing her heart out.  We went to a Disney garden party at the Disney Store and Abby got to dress up as her idol:

Guess who??

The trio made their First Communion this May:

Here we are!

We live in the same place with some amazing neighbors.  It's good to be standing still for awhile.  I'm Blessed to have the best friends a person could ever ask for.  It truly does take a village.  In this case anyway.

Ali and I have started outlining our book.  It's hard to find the time to sit down and write but we are making an effort. 

My goal is to continue to write here.  I've stepped away from FB for awhile.  It seems that it is too easy to become envious of others and all that they have.  I'm a big believer in attitude and gratitude.  Neither of which I have had in a long time.  It's tme for me to have an attitude adjustment. More to

 More to come...