My Life in a Nut Shell

3 surgeries for Endometriosis, countless medications, and lots of difficult years trying to conceive. We put the medical stuff on hold and decided to work on being parents instead. In July of 2000 we were blessed beyond all measure with a phone call announcing the birth of our daughter, Megan. Megan's birth mother had given birth the day before and was leaving the hospital. We had no warning that Megan was coming. At 4:29 in the afternoon we were a couple, at 4:30 we were parents. Deciding that we wanted a sibling for Megan, we looked into all our options. This time insurance covered IVF. One round and we were blessed with triplets, Abigail, Brigid, and Caroline. Did you know that there is a 70% chance of divorce in families of Higher Order Multiples? Almost two years after the triplets were born my ex-husband and I separated and eventually divorced. During that time both my Mother and Father passed away from cancer. In February of 2007 my sister came to live with us to help out. In December of 2008 she had to leave so now it is me on my own with the girls. In February 2010, Lisa passed away and finally found her own Peace.

Sunday, May 30, 2010


Wash, wash, wash.  Fold, fold, fold.  Pick-up, pick-up, pick-up.  My so very exciting Sunday.  I will admit that it is nice to clean-up without the girls following behind me and working against me.  Today I can take my time with it.  Usually when I have my weekends without the girls I run my errands on Sat.  I try to squeeze in a little fun Sat. evening and then Sunday I get the house back in order for the next two weeks.  This weekend is different.  I have Monday off with pay!!  So Sat. was a fun, lay around kind of day followed by dinner out with Cindy, Laura, and Shannon.  Cindy is my SIL, Laura is someone I knew in high school and am FB friends with her now, and Shannon I know from my girls' school.  We had a great time at Rafferty's.  And we didn't really talk about the kiddos..  It turns out that Laura and Cindy live in the same subdivision in Crestwood!  What a small world!!!  We followed up the fun by going to see Sex and the City 2.  It was breezy and light.  Not going to win an Oscars but really you go to see the movie to follow the ladies and their fashions.  It's totally unrealistic but with the kind of life I've had, who cares?  Nice to escape for two hours.  The funny part was when Charlotte and Miranda were crying on each others' shoulders and wondering how people raise kiddos without nannies!  It ain't easy ladies!!!  I did get to taste my first Cosmopolitan.  I liked it.  With diabetes though I understand that alcohol can raise your blood sugar something awful so I chose instead to have a diet Coke, steak and veggie-stuffed tomato.  Lovely!!!

Now off to hit reality again and finish my housework.  'Cause tomorrow is grocery shopping day and a visit to the cemetary to put flowers on my parents' graves.  Not looking forward to that one...

Thursday, May 27, 2010


So I'm sitting here at Starbuck's and feeling like quite the grown-up. I have a free day off. No children, no funerals, no sick days, nothing. Just me and a whole day. I feel somewhat like Ferris Bueller. I have a day and I want to make it count. So I thought I would start of my day with my favorite Earl Grey Latte and a cup of oatmeal. Great comfort food. Then I'm heading over to Margaret's Consignment. I don't really have the money to shop for anything but it really is my guilty pleasure.

I have found that since I go without a lot that the things that make me the most happy are small. Starbuck's, a consignment store, and I know there will be a book store in my future today as well. I love books. Everything about them. And I really love bookstores. I walk in and I feel an instant calm come over me. I can spend hours in a store just trying to find the perfect book. I really don't read fiction. My real life has been crazy enough that I don't find someone's made up story very interesting. I love to read about life. Real life. How people cope when faced with all sorts of situations. I could write my own book about survival. It's been a hell of a few years and I've managed to come out somewhat unscathed. Somewhat being the key word. I've lost some of my joy in the last few years. Losing my parents, my Mom in particular, changed me unlike any other event. She was my best friend. I didn't go a day without speaking to her. On my honeymoon, vacations, it didn't matter. She was my go to person for everything. I didn't really know my Dad. Not until my Mom died anyway. In that last 15 months of his life I came to know a man I wish I had known all my life. Then losing my sister. That's been rough. Still a lot of guilt there. I wish I had the person back that I knew without drugs. Losing my marriage was hard. I loved Patrick. I just couldn't live with him anymore. The girls asked me last night at dinner if I hated him. No I don't hate him. Then they asked if I still loved him. I replied that at some level I still do. I made 4 children with him. How could I not still have feelings for him? Does that mean I would ever get back with him? No. I've moved on. I just don't have those hateful feelings toward him. I wish him the best. I really do. If for no other reason than I want him to do well for our daughters.

Whoa, that was getting a little heavy. Must be the coffeehouse atmosphere and the Earl Grey Tea. :) (Can I tell you how much I love this tea?)

So an update about our lives:

The girls are in their last week of school. I am so happy! No more homework for a few months! Woohoo!!! Today is field day at Field. That's fun to say. Megan had a picnic yesterday. She has a swimming field trip on Friday. We found a great swimming suit at Target for $8. It is blue and green with dots all over it. Last night was her choir concert. It was just wonderful. Her choir teacher has done an amazing job with those kids.

At the picnic yesterday I came in a bit late. I didn't leave work until after 12. I walk up to the park and went over to her group of friends that she usually hangs out with. No Megan. No one knew where she was at. I finally walk around and find her way over on the other side of the tennis courts with a boy from her class and his Mom. Megan was with no of her friends. I noticed this at her awards banquet as well. Megan is a very private kid and doesn't talk about her true feelings very well. It is very hard for her to be forthcoming about what is going on in her head. She has made a few comments about not having friends at school. And yesterday I saw it for certain. I have my theories about what is going on with her. I'm going to find time to really sit down with her and talk about things. I'll update you later.

The trio continue to drive me crazy. I suppose that is what triplets do best. Brigid is so smart it is scary. The are evaluated in school with a reading test called the DRA. The highest they test through is 5th grade. Brigid is testing beyond that. Her reading ability is amazing. And the older she gets the more she looks like me. Which is funny because her nickname as a baby was "Mini-Pat" because she looked like his carbon copy.

Caroline is just the sweetest girl I have ever known. She is me. (No giggles here Cindy). Everything makes her happy. She is reading at the end of the second grade level. She is very quite around others. She has a best friend named Charlotte. And even a boyfriend. She said he gets in trouble a lot but that is ok because he makes her smile. At the Girl Scout sleepover Caroline arranged her bed off by herself. All the other girls were grouped up together but not Caroline. At one point all the girls were in front of the TV watching a movie. Not Caroline. She was off by herself rolling around on the floor with her didi. In pure joy with her didi. She is simultaneously adorable and odd. As I've always said she is delightfully odd.

Abby is my powder keg. She goes off on a moments notice about anything. And I do mean anything. She has this explosive temper that scares me sometimes. But as quickly as she explodes she can calm down again. Her DRA score was 3 at the beginning of the year. She hated school. She didn't want to do anything. She told her teacher on the first day of school that she "doesn't write so I'm not going to do that." Her score should be a 16 by the end of the year but it was a 12. Which for Abby is HUGE. Her teacher and I are so happy with her progress. I always said that I knew the lightbulb would come on. As a teacher I worry when it doesn't come on by the end of first/beginning of second and it is coming on for Abby. I'm going to work with her this summer to keep her reading at level.

When we moved to this apartment I promised the girls that we would do something special. Nasty lady doesn't live under us anymore. So we had a slumber party last Friday. There were 11 girls at the house ranging in age from 6 to 10. It went really well. I was amazed at how well it went. All these Moms kept telling me I was nuts for having that many girls at my house. But really when you think about it, it is what I do for a living. I work around children all the time. My whole life is child-focused. The only difference between my job and the party was that I didn't get paid and I got some sleep. The last child fell asleep at 12:45 and she was up by 6. I didn't fall asleep until 1:30. So we all were a little tired on Saturday. But we just took it easy. We ran some errands and just had some fun. Some real fun. On Sunday we went to Calypso Cove, the water park at the YMCA. It was packed!!! We had fun. I ran into a friend and her two daughters so Shannon and I hung out while the kids played. It was so much fun. Relaxing fun. It was as I had always invisioned my life. Hanging out with a friend while the kids played. The only negative to the day was that I got really burned. I used sunscreen but apparently not enough. My tattoo on my leg got really burned and swelled up. It was hard and painful. I've been putting ice on it at home. Today is the first day it hasn't been throbbing. Next time I'm coating that thing with a ton of sunscreen.

smile Megan!
Abby, Brigid, and Caroline
I read a magazine and Caroline swam!

Saturday night I'm going to see Sex and The City 2 with Cindy and Shannon. Tickets have been bought and I am so excited. Dinner out and a movie. This will hurt financially but I don't care this time. I want a very grown-up evening out. I'm sure there will be heels and Cosmopolitans involved. :)

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Dinner #2

Here is my second attempt at cooking from scratch and on the cheap.  I made two bacon and cheese quiches.  I used eggs, half and half, bacon, 2 types of cheese, and red onions.  I froze the second one for another dinner.  That means altogether I spent about $10 for TWO dinners!  I put out fresh spinach for salad and fresh carrots for dipping.  The prep time was less than 10 minutes.  I did use pre-made pie crusts. They were on sale for $1.99 for two. 

Along with this I cut up apples and sprinkled them with cinnamon, brown sugar, and a little bit of powdered sugar for color.  The girls loved this one.  Brigid and Abigail sat on the floor after dinner and gave this one 8 thumbs up (4 thumbs and 4 big toes).  I know, my girls are goofy! 

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I've been domesticated

Tonight I made dinner from scratch.  I'm trying to make some changes in our house and this is a start.  I want to go back to dinners at home that aren't fast food and overly processed like chicken nuggets and pizza rolls.  So far this week I made pancakes from scratch with bacon and eggs. 

Tonight I made 5 cheese mac and cheese:

stoplight peppers with spinach, mushrooms, garlic, olive oil, and parmesan cheese:

and fresh strawberries with powdered sugar:

  I googled recipes for a family of 5 under $10 and came up with a whole bunch of recipes that I am going to try.  I spent $130 at the grocery store today buying everything I would need.  I made so much mac and cheese tonight I actually put two containers in the freezer, and will have one for lunch tomorrow at work.  The peppers didn't go over to well in this house.  But at least Abby and Brigid were willing to put it in a wrap and try it.  Caroline tried them without a wrap.  Megan licked a mushroom and declared it  awful.  After dinner Brigid sat on the floor and and said dinner was "4 thumbs up.  You know, two thumbs and two big toes."  I love that kid.  I'm glad they enjoyed it.  Tomorrow night's dinner will be a bacon, egg, and cheese quiche.  Wish me luck!!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010


Today I write with a heavy heart.  I realize that I write a lot about Megan.  With the trio I often feel that they have each other.  Megan has no one but me.  And tonight she is hurting.  Really hurting.  She has been so angry lately.  I never feel like I can do enough for her.  And tonight I think I finally made a break-through with her.  I knew a big part of why she has been hurting.  It's just that tonight she finally put it into words.  She misses her Dad.  She really misses her Dad.  I just don't know how to help.  I've talked with him before about how much she needs him.  And I think when it comes from me he thinks I am somehow manipulating him to my own devices.  If he could have heard her tonight I think he would realize just how much she needs him in her life beyond every other weekend.  

Megan needs you.

Abigail, Brigid, and Caroline need you.