My Life in a Nut Shell

3 surgeries for Endometriosis, countless medications, and lots of difficult years trying to conceive. We put the medical stuff on hold and decided to work on being parents instead. In July of 2000 we were blessed beyond all measure with a phone call announcing the birth of our daughter, Megan. Megan's birth mother had given birth the day before and was leaving the hospital. We had no warning that Megan was coming. At 4:29 in the afternoon we were a couple, at 4:30 we were parents. Deciding that we wanted a sibling for Megan, we looked into all our options. This time insurance covered IVF. One round and we were blessed with triplets, Abigail, Brigid, and Caroline. Did you know that there is a 70% chance of divorce in families of Higher Order Multiples? Almost two years after the triplets were born my ex-husband and I separated and eventually divorced. During that time both my Mother and Father passed away from cancer. In February of 2007 my sister came to live with us to help out. In December of 2008 she had to leave so now it is me on my own with the girls. In February 2010, Lisa passed away and finally found her own Peace.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

A previous post

I copied a portion of a previous post from over a year ago. Here it is:

I told Megan today that it is time for some really GOOD things to happen. I am so over the bad stuff. I have had my fill of the bad stuff. Enough, God. I give. I am ready for the good stuff to come. I've waited patiently and I think it is my turn. On a scale of 1-10 I have lived a lifetime of 3s. I'm ready for some 8s, 9s, and 10s. I'm not asking for all 10s. Just one or two now and again. Seriously, ( sorry Grey's Anatomy I am stealing your word) just how much bad can someone take? And my favorite phrase: I know that God doesn't give you anymore than you can handle, I just wish God didn't think I could handle so much.So here's to everyone that lives a life of 3s. Hold your chin up. It will get better. I know it will. And when it does get better let's remember what if feels like to live through a 1 or 2 and be forever greatful and appreciative and thankful that a few 9s and 10s have fallen our way.

I felt it's time that I update this. I'm finally living those 7s, 8s, and occasionally 9s. And sometimes even a 10! YES!!!. And it feels damn good. I look back to where I was when I posted this and can't believe I've come this far. Work is going well and I am happy there. It's been almost 8 months in the same place. I have a relatively clean apartment, a new van, and my wonderful girls. My 7s and 8s might not be other people's ideas of what an 8 is but for me life is grand. Even with Caroline's stitches in her nose (from an accident at Daddy's house), Megan being a teenager (at age 9), Abby's double ear infection, and Brigid's temper, life is good. All 4 girls are in Girl Scouts, Megan is cheerleading and we are as always super busy. This week alone saw Megan's theater class, company at the apartment (twice), a birthday party, Girl Scouts, an inservice Tuesday night at my school, pumpkin carving, Halloween parties, and Parents Night Out at my school until 11:45 last night (which means I worked from 9 a.m. until 11:45 p.m.). Let's not forget homework, housework, and errands. We are tired but happy. And just so thankful.

Monday night my sister-in-law, Cindy, brought over dinner, dessert, gifts for the girls, and did some laundry. I was so happy! Thanks Cindy!! My girls loved the surprise!!!!

Last Saturday another teacher at my school offered to come over and help with the girls. I had her come and have lunch with us instead. And this Thursday evening another teacher is coming over to watch the girls so I can grocery shop. All this for free. These lovely ladies are single or married without kids and don't know how I do it everyday so they offer to come help. I sometimes can't believe how lucky I've been to find such a great place to work.

Now my next goal is to put some money together to finally get my computer fixed so I can blog in the comfort of my home. :)

Happy Halloween everyone!!!!!!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

A Saturday in October

I am sitting in a blissfully quiet library surfing the web. Thanks to Katie, my girls are dancing their hearts out at a Hannah Montana dance clinic at Manual High School. They are there from 9-2 p.m. lunch included. Abby, Brigid, and Caroline were thrilled to death to be there. Megan was a little nervous. Once she got there and saw a friend from her class, she was overjoyed. Brigid was in her performing element. When I left she was laughing and dancing. A great sight to see. Caroline was even dancing which greatly surprised me. Abby was feeling very shy. They are learning two H.M. dances and will perform them at half-time on Fri. Oct. 16 during the Maual/St. X football game. I can't wait. I will be there with the video camara and still camara. That is one minor/small drawback to being a single parent. I can't video and take pictures at the same time. That's ok. Be on the look out here for pictures next week.

Last night I cooked a rather large dinner. I didn't intend it to be that way but I was so hungry I kept adding things to the meal. Last night was seafood night. Since the girls all like different seafood it was one of only a few meals where I will cook different main courses. Brigid and Caroline like fish sticks. Abby likes deep-fried clams. Megan likes popcorn shrimp. I had steamed mussels with garlic/olive oil pasta. Yum. I cut up zucchini and squash and served that fresh. Then we had bananas, kiwis, and watermelon. Everyone finished quickly which left Caroline and I in the kitchen. This is the usual routine at night. I was always the last one at the table as a kid and now Caroline is taking my place. Since it is usually just the two of us left I get to talk with Caroline one-on-one. This is a big deal in our house. This is the time when I get to hear Caroline talk uninterrupted and I get to hear just how delightfully odd she is. She kept saying how happy she was that she was eating kiwis and watermelon. She wanted me to call her Dad and tell him how she ate FIVE slices of watermelon. And then right in the middle of things she said this sweet little nugget: "Know what Momma? I'm in the habit of loving you." And that one sentence seems to describe Caroline exactly. Not "Momma I love you" but "I'm in the habit of loving you." It's single moments like these that make me so glad I am the Mom to these 4 lovely ladies. The writer from Louisville Magazine asked me what was it that was so great about being a Mom to triplets plus 1 and I had a hard time answering. Not because I don't find exquisite joy in being their Mom but because there are so many little moments like these that fill my soul. It would be easy to say it's because they are smart, kind, or loving. But the harder explanation would be explaining these precious little moments. "I'm in the habit of loving you." Wow.

Conference day was last Tuesday. This always makes me nervous because I always feel I have to explain things to the girls' teacher. Like I feel the need to make excuses for any shortcomings that I am sure are my fault. I met with the Abby, Brigid, and Caroline's teacher first. She said the girls are doing so well. Brigid is reading on a 3rd/4th grade level. Caroline is reading at a 2nd grade level, and Abby is right on target for the beginning of 1st grade. I am so proud of them. They work so hard and it shows. It makes me feel good to know that what I am doing is working. The guilt will always be there about making the choice to be a single parent. I hear lots of comments that they are well-behaved (unless we are in a grocery store which is a whole other matter entirely). Then it was on to Megan's conference. How nice it was to hear that Megan is reading on an 8th grade level and according to her teacher is "delightful." She really is.

Now for the "yucky" part of this post. Since the girls were going to this Hannah Montana thing today I was trying to find all their H.M. t-shirts last night so I could make sure they were clean and ready to go for today. I found Caroline's t-shirt and then found Abby's in the dirt laundry pile. I asked Megan to pick one of hers out (she has at least 6). She came out with one and no others. I explained to her that I needed to borrow one of hers for today because I could not find Brigid's. I looked under Brigid's bed, in the playroom, the dirty laundry pile, everywhere. I then went with Megan to her dresser drawer to find another shirt. Only there weren't any. Now it's almost 9:30 at night and I need to start a load of laundry (for Abby's shirt) and wait up until I can then put it in the dryer. I'm getting frazzled (and grumpy) because I can't find any of Megan's other shirts. I'm standing at the washing machine, cussing in my head, while trying to do this damn load of laundry when Megan comes out with a handful of shirts. Her head was hanging down as she said, "Here, Mom. Here are my other shirts." "Megan, where were they?" "I hid them so that no one else could wear one." I'm guessing the guilt of her actions got the best of her. At first I was so annoyed with Megan. She hates to share anything with her sisters (especially Brigid). But then watching me stand at that washer and worry that Brigid wouldn't have a H.M. shirt to wear today made Megan go back and fish her shirts out of their hiding place. So I'm thinking that maybe Megan's finally getting it. Finally starting to grow up just a bit. And after all that, I found Brigid's shirt in the dryer with the towels I had washed from two days before. (Yes I still had towels in the dryer. It's an extra drawer isn't it?)
Alls well, that ends well.

Thursday, October 8, 2009


Someone please make the rain go away! Being stuck inside a classroom all day with 11 three year olds is driving me crazy!! They really need to be able to go outside and run, play and be noisy. So please take the rain away!!!!!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Adoption Day Part 2

Megan, my sister-in-law Cindy, and I went to the St. James Art Festival on Sat. It was a beautiful day. And it was the most crowded I have ever seen St. James. After 3 hours of walking around looking at all kinds of things, we went to dinner at the Spaghetti Factory. Megan was super antsy because all she could think about was riding on the horse-drawn carriage by the river. Since the carriages were parked by the restaurant Megan spent most of the meal staring out the window at the horses. After dinner (in which Megan DECLINED dessert) we let Megan picked the carriage she wanted to ride in by the river. She smiled the whole time. I'm not sure Megan even noticed that her Aunt and I were talking. I wish I could afford to take Megan on more of these rides. Or to have her around horses more. After we were finished we went to Kroger, loaded up on goodies, and rented Nancy Drew from RedBox. Then it was on to home where we cuddled on the couch, ate lots of junk, and watched the movie. When it was time for bed, Megan decided to sleep with me. As she was drifting off to sleep she declared it "The best day ever!" It definitely was right up there.

(And a special thank you to Aunt Cindy for helping to fund some of the day. Megan really enjoyed her company.)

Friday, October 2, 2009

Adoption Day

On Thursday, July 27, 2000, at 4:29 in the afternoon our phone rang. I answered it and it was Diane from Catholic Charities on the other end. We were waiting patiently (ok not too patiently) for a baby. I had just talked to Diane a few weeks earlier and knew that we had not been chosen by anyone and that there weren't any expectant moms due for awhile so I figured it was just paperwork business she was calling for. Here is how the conversation went:

Diane: Hey Kristina. What are you doing right now?
Me: I'm cooking dinner and waiting for Patrick to get home from work.
D: What ya cooking?
M: Chicken
D: That sounds good. What else are you cooking?
M: Rice. (Ok so now I'm getting little nervous)
D: That sounds really good. Do you think maybe you could put that on hold for awhile?
M: Why? (Now I'm shaking. I figure she's going to tell me a birthmother wanted to meet us)
D: Because there is a baby at Norton's that needs to be held.

And in that single solitary moment, I was a Mom. Megan was 24 hours old. Her birthmother wanted to wait until she had left the hospital before we got the call. I can't put into words how greatful I am to Megan's birthmother for making this choice. I say this every year but my single best day EVER was that day. The feeling of holding Megan in my arms for the first time was so awe inspiring that I still choke up at that memory. (I'm sure the patrons in the library are thinking I'm nuts as I have tears rolling down my face while typing.) Tomorrow is Adoption Day for us. It took 14 months for the court to finalize everything. Every year we celebrate this day with Megan. Tomorrow I'm scheduled to have Megan for the whole day. Just her and I. We're going to the St. James Art Festival, out to dinner to the Spahgetti Factory, and a carriage ride downtown. I can't wait. I am so Blessed and lucky to be Megan's Mom. She drives me crazy sometimes. But she is the most amazing kid. I hope that in some way Megan's birthmother knows how wonderful she is. Megan is a great kid. So tomorrow if you get a moment just say a little prayer of thank you to Megan's birthmother. For making the choice to give Megan life. For making the choice to give me life. Life as a Mom.