It's been a long while since I have been able to come to the library and truly take time to write. I've written at least 20 blog entries in my head but never have the time to write. So I'm going to try and condense it all into this one post. This is the first full weekend the girls' Dad has taken them since Halloween.
All in all, Christmas was pretty good. I worked really hard to get the girls at least one thing they each wanted. I wanted to make a huge effort to provide for the girls without any help. Everything Abby opened she yelled, "This is exactly what I've always wanted." She is the easiest to buy for. With Brigid everytime she opened a gift she would say, "I didn't really want this but I love it!" Caroline tied every gift into some way to make her love of ladybugs work out, "My ladybug will love when I read this book to her. My ladybug will love my new comforter." She is currently obsessed with ladybugs. Megan on the other hand was a bit harder. She didn't get a DS or shoes like her friends. She did get a Breyer horse stable but then was upset that she had the stable at her Dad's house too. Crap. Then she decided that she wanted what her sisters had gotten. She got this beautiful, antique roll-top desk that my brother refinished for her. She wasn't that thrilled at the beginning but now she loves it. I figured that would happen with her. Megan has a very hard time being thankful for what is in front of her but she is making a huge effort to correct that. Now I'm just glad the holidays are over and some of the stress of getting ready for Christmas can die down a little until next year.
On New Year's Eve we were invited to a friend's house out in Spencer County. J has a 30 year old and 13 year old triplet girls. She has recently gone through a divorce and had invited her friends from a divorce support group. I'm the only one who brought my girls along. They had fun playing with J's Wii and her 6 year old niece. I on the otherhand, not so much. And here's why. First, I am past the part where I hate my ex. Those awful feelings have subsided. Mostly what I feel towards him has everything to do with his parenting and lack of being involved in the girls' lives. But I'm past being upset with him about the many causes of our divorce. The people at the NYE party are still in the middle of those hurtful feelings and I just couldn't jump in on the "bashing my ex" conversations. And second, if I don't have my kids to talk about, I have nothing to talk about. My whole life revolves around my kids. Everything I do, I do for them. I am with them 24/7. I very rarely have a social life because I always have the girls. I don't say this in a sad way, but it is what it is. I rarely have money for a babysitter. Cindy and Erik helped out a lot around the holidays but I can't call them anytime I want to go out with friends. Patrick isn't always consistent with picking the girls up and I have missed LOTS of actvities because he hasn't picked them up. I spend my evenings running the girls to Girl Scouts, cheerleading, games, and Quick Recall. We get home lots of times around 8 p.m. and then it's dinner, homework, and bed. There is no time for me to be me. And for right now that is ok. It's just when faced with a social situation like NYE, I don't know what to talk about. So I end up listening to everyone and making small talk. I think I end up coming off like a wallflower when that is often not the case. Alas, something else for me to work on too. :)
Megan made the Quick Recall team at school. I am so proud of her again as I often am.
Abby, Brigid, and Caroline continue to make me laugh, wear me out, and shower me with love. :)
By the way, my girls are ALL selling Girl Scout cookies. So if anyone needs any give me a call!!!!!
