My Life in a Nut Shell

3 surgeries for Endometriosis, countless medications, and lots of difficult years trying to conceive. We put the medical stuff on hold and decided to work on being parents instead. In July of 2000 we were blessed beyond all measure with a phone call announcing the birth of our daughter, Megan. Megan's birth mother had given birth the day before and was leaving the hospital. We had no warning that Megan was coming. At 4:29 in the afternoon we were a couple, at 4:30 we were parents. Deciding that we wanted a sibling for Megan, we looked into all our options. This time insurance covered IVF. One round and we were blessed with triplets, Abigail, Brigid, and Caroline. Did you know that there is a 70% chance of divorce in families of Higher Order Multiples? Almost two years after the triplets were born my ex-husband and I separated and eventually divorced. During that time both my Mother and Father passed away from cancer. In February of 2007 my sister came to live with us to help out. In December of 2008 she had to leave so now it is me on my own with the girls. In February 2010, Lisa passed away and finally found her own Peace.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

A Saturday in October

I am sitting in a blissfully quiet library surfing the web. Thanks to Katie, my girls are dancing their hearts out at a Hannah Montana dance clinic at Manual High School. They are there from 9-2 p.m. lunch included. Abby, Brigid, and Caroline were thrilled to death to be there. Megan was a little nervous. Once she got there and saw a friend from her class, she was overjoyed. Brigid was in her performing element. When I left she was laughing and dancing. A great sight to see. Caroline was even dancing which greatly surprised me. Abby was feeling very shy. They are learning two H.M. dances and will perform them at half-time on Fri. Oct. 16 during the Maual/St. X football game. I can't wait. I will be there with the video camara and still camara. That is one minor/small drawback to being a single parent. I can't video and take pictures at the same time. That's ok. Be on the look out here for pictures next week.

Last night I cooked a rather large dinner. I didn't intend it to be that way but I was so hungry I kept adding things to the meal. Last night was seafood night. Since the girls all like different seafood it was one of only a few meals where I will cook different main courses. Brigid and Caroline like fish sticks. Abby likes deep-fried clams. Megan likes popcorn shrimp. I had steamed mussels with garlic/olive oil pasta. Yum. I cut up zucchini and squash and served that fresh. Then we had bananas, kiwis, and watermelon. Everyone finished quickly which left Caroline and I in the kitchen. This is the usual routine at night. I was always the last one at the table as a kid and now Caroline is taking my place. Since it is usually just the two of us left I get to talk with Caroline one-on-one. This is a big deal in our house. This is the time when I get to hear Caroline talk uninterrupted and I get to hear just how delightfully odd she is. She kept saying how happy she was that she was eating kiwis and watermelon. She wanted me to call her Dad and tell him how she ate FIVE slices of watermelon. And then right in the middle of things she said this sweet little nugget: "Know what Momma? I'm in the habit of loving you." And that one sentence seems to describe Caroline exactly. Not "Momma I love you" but "I'm in the habit of loving you." It's single moments like these that make me so glad I am the Mom to these 4 lovely ladies. The writer from Louisville Magazine asked me what was it that was so great about being a Mom to triplets plus 1 and I had a hard time answering. Not because I don't find exquisite joy in being their Mom but because there are so many little moments like these that fill my soul. It would be easy to say it's because they are smart, kind, or loving. But the harder explanation would be explaining these precious little moments. "I'm in the habit of loving you." Wow.

Conference day was last Tuesday. This always makes me nervous because I always feel I have to explain things to the girls' teacher. Like I feel the need to make excuses for any shortcomings that I am sure are my fault. I met with the Abby, Brigid, and Caroline's teacher first. She said the girls are doing so well. Brigid is reading on a 3rd/4th grade level. Caroline is reading at a 2nd grade level, and Abby is right on target for the beginning of 1st grade. I am so proud of them. They work so hard and it shows. It makes me feel good to know that what I am doing is working. The guilt will always be there about making the choice to be a single parent. I hear lots of comments that they are well-behaved (unless we are in a grocery store which is a whole other matter entirely). Then it was on to Megan's conference. How nice it was to hear that Megan is reading on an 8th grade level and according to her teacher is "delightful." She really is.

Now for the "yucky" part of this post. Since the girls were going to this Hannah Montana thing today I was trying to find all their H.M. t-shirts last night so I could make sure they were clean and ready to go for today. I found Caroline's t-shirt and then found Abby's in the dirt laundry pile. I asked Megan to pick one of hers out (she has at least 6). She came out with one and no others. I explained to her that I needed to borrow one of hers for today because I could not find Brigid's. I looked under Brigid's bed, in the playroom, the dirty laundry pile, everywhere. I then went with Megan to her dresser drawer to find another shirt. Only there weren't any. Now it's almost 9:30 at night and I need to start a load of laundry (for Abby's shirt) and wait up until I can then put it in the dryer. I'm getting frazzled (and grumpy) because I can't find any of Megan's other shirts. I'm standing at the washing machine, cussing in my head, while trying to do this damn load of laundry when Megan comes out with a handful of shirts. Her head was hanging down as she said, "Here, Mom. Here are my other shirts." "Megan, where were they?" "I hid them so that no one else could wear one." I'm guessing the guilt of her actions got the best of her. At first I was so annoyed with Megan. She hates to share anything with her sisters (especially Brigid). But then watching me stand at that washer and worry that Brigid wouldn't have a H.M. shirt to wear today made Megan go back and fish her shirts out of their hiding place. So I'm thinking that maybe Megan's finally getting it. Finally starting to grow up just a bit. And after all that, I found Brigid's shirt in the dryer with the towels I had washed from two days before. (Yes I still had towels in the dryer. It's an extra drawer isn't it?)
Alls well, that ends well.

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