My Life in a Nut Shell

3 surgeries for Endometriosis, countless medications, and lots of difficult years trying to conceive. We put the medical stuff on hold and decided to work on being parents instead. In July of 2000 we were blessed beyond all measure with a phone call announcing the birth of our daughter, Megan. Megan's birth mother had given birth the day before and was leaving the hospital. We had no warning that Megan was coming. At 4:29 in the afternoon we were a couple, at 4:30 we were parents. Deciding that we wanted a sibling for Megan, we looked into all our options. This time insurance covered IVF. One round and we were blessed with triplets, Abigail, Brigid, and Caroline. Did you know that there is a 70% chance of divorce in families of Higher Order Multiples? Almost two years after the triplets were born my ex-husband and I separated and eventually divorced. During that time both my Mother and Father passed away from cancer. In February of 2007 my sister came to live with us to help out. In December of 2008 she had to leave so now it is me on my own with the girls. In February 2010, Lisa passed away and finally found her own Peace.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

35 Hours or I'm REALLY Pissed

No that isn't the name of a new show on Fox.  This is the amount of time my ex spent with our daughters this weekend.  He brought them back early.  Again.  I made two promises to myself when I started this blog.  One was to never blog when I'm mad.  I'll regret what I type later.  The second is to not bad mouth the girls' Dad.  Though in this case I'm breaking both promises.

I can't take much more.  I just plain don't have the money to take him back to court but I'm going to try and figure out how.   He hasn't visited with Megan since June.  And he brought them back a day early with the pitiful comment, "I thought that was what we were doing."  No dude, that is what YOU are doing.   I love the fact that he just chooses not to follow the divorce settlement.  He cannot handle being a parent.  Period.   No matter what he tries to claim, he is just not a parent.  He doesn't take an interest in anything involving the girls except when he decides to complain about something I do with the girls.

I'm sorry but tonight I'm angry.  Really angry.  This has nothing to do with me having to spend more time with the girls.  I love every minute with the girls.  (Unless I'm in the doctor's office or the grocery store with them.)  It's the utter lack of respect for our children and for me.   He does what he wants when he wants to.  I wonder what would happen if I showed up on a Friday evening and told him I had a date and then just left the girls.  He would freak.   Yet he does this to the girls and I each and every time he has visitation with him.

And dude?  This isn't parenting time.  This is visitation.  You haven't parented these girls in over 7 years.  That's been my job.   So go home and get your laundry done, or grocery shop, or hang with your girlfriend.  I'll treasure our girls and the time I parent them.  Because when it comes down to it you haven't ever been a parent to these beautiful young ladies.  They will get older and you will be sad and feel sorry for yourself  for the time you choose not to be their parent.  


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