My Life in a Nut Shell

3 surgeries for Endometriosis, countless medications, and lots of difficult years trying to conceive. We put the medical stuff on hold and decided to work on being parents instead. In July of 2000 we were blessed beyond all measure with a phone call announcing the birth of our daughter, Megan. Megan's birth mother had given birth the day before and was leaving the hospital. We had no warning that Megan was coming. At 4:29 in the afternoon we were a couple, at 4:30 we were parents. Deciding that we wanted a sibling for Megan, we looked into all our options. This time insurance covered IVF. One round and we were blessed with triplets, Abigail, Brigid, and Caroline. Did you know that there is a 70% chance of divorce in families of Higher Order Multiples? Almost two years after the triplets were born my ex-husband and I separated and eventually divorced. During that time both my Mother and Father passed away from cancer. In February of 2007 my sister came to live with us to help out. In December of 2008 she had to leave so now it is me on my own with the girls. In February 2010, Lisa passed away and finally found her own Peace.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Thank you

I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of love, kindness, and amazing words I have received in the last few days. I want to thank everyone for their uplifting, thoughtful words on this blog. I only ever started this blog to put my own ideas out there in cyberspace. I wanted to put my own voice to my everyday actions. When I wrote my sadness about my sister is was, for me, a way to deal with everything. I couldn't believe my eyes when I started seeing all these comments on my blog. I am truly grateful that all you kind souls took the time out of your busy lives to offer my girls and I some very heartfelt words. I have read each and every entry at least twice. When I'm feeling sad it's helps to sit down and read your words.

Losing my sister has been harder than I ever thought. I still can't believe she is gone. Someone on here posted that even though I had no contact with her there was still HOPE that she would get better and come back into our lives. I never hated my sister. I hated her actions. It's a fine line. This disease had such a hold on her that she couldn't see past it. She couldn't see HER good and worth.

I've been busy trying to put together a service for her that would honor the good about Lisa. We are having a small service at St. Bernadette's parish center in their chapel. The new church hasn't been built yet so there is little room for everyone. It is March 11 at 6:30 p.m. Lisa was not Catholic but I am. My priest felt it best to honor Lisa in some small way so that is what I intend to do. I'm trying to put together pictures to display at the service. The girls will be writing their own words about Aunt Lisa and the priest will read them aloud at the service.

I've written the obituary and it should be in Sunday's paper- The Courier-Journal. It should be online as well by then. Unfortunately the cost of this obituary was almost prohibitive. As a single Mom I just couldn't afford the obit I truly wanted for Lisa. As it stands now it is over $100. So I'll just continue to use my blog as a way to honor Lisa with my words.

Having the day off yesterday allowed me to gain some perspective in all this. I often wondered how relatives of people who committed such heinous crimes could still support their loved ones. How on earth could they separate their loved ones from their horrible actions? And now I know in a small way. My brother could not see past Lisa's actions. I believe Lisa was more than just her actions. I haven't forgotten the terrible things she did to my parents. I've just forgiven her. It wouldn't be very Catholic of me to hold that anger in and not see that Lisa was truly a good person making bad decisions. We all would be in a sad state if no one ever forgave us for our sins. Lisa was a kind person at heart and that is how I will choose to remember her.

In lieu of flowers I am asking that people send donations to Exceptional Equitation in LaGrange, KY. Their website is www.exceptional-equitation.org Shelly Prete is the owner. She was the teacher in the autism classroom at Field Elem. I used to work with her. Her farm is devoted to helping children with special needs. She has 10 horses and uses them in therapy. There were two times in Lisa's life when she she felt free of her demons. While creating with ceramics and while riding horses. Megan lives for horses. I tried to figure out a way to incorporate all of this into something good so I came up with a way to blend Lisa's joy with my children and came up with this. I'm hoping this is a fitting tribute to the person that was Lisa.

Again my heartfelt thanks to everyone. You have made this journey just a bit easier to make.

5 comments:

Becca said...

I know the service will be beautiful and it is so encouraging to see that you can forgive your sister even if others can't, it is a beautiful and selfless thing. I'm sure that she would love the contribution that you are making to the autism farm. Once again I have to say you are so strong and so amazing. God bless you and your girls.

Tonya said...

Kristina,

Wow - it's been many years since I last spoke with Lisa, but she's often been in my thoughts. My heart goes out to you, and you and your family will be in my prayers.

Tonya

lifelove'n'wine said...

I'm so glad that you are able to forgive your sister. Holding on to anger is only hurtful, especially to yourself. Your ability to move past the anger shows what a good and strong person you are. I'm glad that everyone's comments were able to bring a little bit of light into this hard time...I'm still thinking of you and your family.

Tabby said...

I'm so glad that the words of strangers can help you, even a little. I know that what ever you come to say in your eulogy will be beautiful. I hope your girls take comfort in knowing that their Aunt Lisa loved them with all her heart, and she will be their Guardian Angel from up above.

Natasha said...

I hope the service went well. Still thinking of you. x