My Life in a Nut Shell

3 surgeries for Endometriosis, countless medications, and lots of difficult years trying to conceive. We put the medical stuff on hold and decided to work on being parents instead. In July of 2000 we were blessed beyond all measure with a phone call announcing the birth of our daughter, Megan. Megan's birth mother had given birth the day before and was leaving the hospital. We had no warning that Megan was coming. At 4:29 in the afternoon we were a couple, at 4:30 we were parents. Deciding that we wanted a sibling for Megan, we looked into all our options. This time insurance covered IVF. One round and we were blessed with triplets, Abigail, Brigid, and Caroline. Did you know that there is a 70% chance of divorce in families of Higher Order Multiples? Almost two years after the triplets were born my ex-husband and I separated and eventually divorced. During that time both my Mother and Father passed away from cancer. In February of 2007 my sister came to live with us to help out. In December of 2008 she had to leave so now it is me on my own with the girls. In February 2010, Lisa passed away and finally found her own Peace.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Just Put One Foot in Front of the Other...

Man we've been busy.  I'm trying to get all sorts of things done before we start school in August.  So far we've been to the eye doctor.   Abigail got new glasses!!  She is adorable in them.  Then we went to the dentist.  3 kids = no cavities.  Abigail and Megan have NEVER had cavities.  Brigid had a very small one a couple of years ago.  Caroline is on her second cavity.  Not bad for a single Mom of 4.   We, well I, have been trying to get this house good and organized.   It's going pretty well with only a few items left to organize.        We've been swimming, visiting friends, enjoying life.  

The trio went with their Dad for another vacation week.  Megan refused to go.  She wanted to stay with me for a week and not visit with her Dad.  She has been refusing to go with him for most of the summer.  The upside to that is that she and I are having a lot of good, quality bonding time together.  The downside is that I don't get any time to myself.  At all.  Ever.  Brigid came back to us earlier than expected.  She got sick and the ex, rather than call me, didn't know what to do she he took her to the ER.  Ugh.   Long story short she just had a virus but she refused to go back home with him so I brought Brigid back with me.  This 2 kid thing has been a piece of cake.  Of course the ex didn't last the entire week with the other two either.  They were brought back early.  I'm pretty sure he could NOT manage the day to day life with these girls ever.   Some days it is a daunting task just to survive.  Trying to balance work, homework, baths, dinner, errand running bath time, friends, bills, etc. can be a logistical nightmare.  Yet I wouldn't trade it for everything.  

Which leads me to today's topic.   I'm hoping that a friend reads this and takes the advice to heart.  I'm not sitting in judgement here.  I'm trying to offer advice from someone who has been there.   This friend has just been through a rather nasty divorce.  (Hmmm sounds familiar)  She is struggling.  She has gotten lots of good sound advice from all of our mutual friends.  It's not being followed.   We all see the struggles.  We all hurt for her.  We are hoping that someone out there gets through to her so that she can get the help she needs.  If I hadn't gotten the help I needed to treat my depression I know I wouldn't be here today.  One of my favorite phrases that is hanging up in my kitchen and was given to me from my Dr.  is this:   "When I see how far you have come to get to where you are, I know you are a walking miracle."   It's taken a lot of work to get here.   The work I'm talking about has to come from inside.  You have to realize you have a problem then reach out to anyone, everyone, to get  help.  You will never get  better sitting in a puddle of denial about everything.   I'VE BEEN THERE.   All of our friends are sitting on the outside watching this beautiful soul disappear.  And we have fear that her children are getting lost because of it all.   Her actions are becoming more erratic.  It's hard to watch.  I've offered help.  I still offer help.   My offer does come unconditionally.  It really does.  Well mostly it does.  You have to want the help.  You have to use the help to get better.  Not to watch your kiddos so you can sleep more and hide from the world.   Your children, and you, will be better off if you get help NOW.   It's hard to take the first step.  I tried really hard for 2 years to not get help even when everyone around me was telling me too.   I am so glad I finally took that first step.   

So when you are ready, please call me.  You know my number.  You know where I live.  I am here for you.

No comments: