I had a dream last night that has stuck with me all day. After my divorce, I fell in love with someone that not many people know about. I really thought he was it. I really did. And it turned out he wasn't. I think of him every so often. Last night I had a dream about him. He proposed. I was so filled with joy that someone loved ME and all that I am. It felt so good. Then I woke up. I can't shake that feeling in the dream last night. Now I realize I really am lonely. How can I be lonely in a house full of people????
Man this sounds like a pity party doesn't it?
So I did something stupid. I dialed his number. And a woman answered. I made a stupid excuse that I had dialed the wrong number and hung up. What a complete moron I am. I'm not sure why I'm telling you this. I think it's because, one, I put it all out there. Two, that dream really has stuck with me. I'm learning that God has a plan for us but I'm getting kind of impatient with this plan. Daggone am I going to spend my life alone? Is this what I am destined to do? Even frickin' Noah paired up animals two by two on the Ark. What the hell happened here? Crap. My friend put a link on my FB wall this evening. Here it is:
Listen to the words. Really weird. I'm not sure why she chose to post this link but it goes in line with that stupid dream I had. I've been on match.com for awhile to really no success. I'm not that fabulous on paper. I may not be that fabulous in real life either. I'm kinda quirky. Not many men want to date quirky. Quirky with a lot of kids. Oh and let's not forget fat. Oh and there are those tattoos. There's also the minivan. And I'm a liberal democrat. And a Catholic.
Quirky. I'd make a great sidekick on TV. You know all the georgeous woman on TV have a quirky sidekick. Even on the Wizards of Waverly Place (I'm a kid TV expert) Alex Russo has Harper. Just call me Harper.
It's a good thing I have so many kids or else I could totally see myself as the crazy cat lady.
My Life in a Nut Shell
3 surgeries for Endometriosis, countless medications, and lots of difficult years trying to conceive. We put the medical stuff on hold and decided to work on being parents instead. In July of 2000 we were blessed beyond all measure with a phone call announcing the birth of our daughter, Megan. Megan's birth mother had given birth the day before and was leaving the hospital. We had no warning that Megan was coming. At 4:29 in the afternoon we were a couple, at 4:30 we were parents. Deciding that we wanted a sibling for Megan, we looked into all our options. This time insurance covered IVF. One round and we were blessed with triplets, Abigail, Brigid, and Caroline. Did you know that there is a 70% chance of divorce in families of Higher Order Multiples? Almost two years after the triplets were born my ex-husband and I separated and eventually divorced. During that time both my Mother and Father passed away from cancer. In February of 2007 my sister came to live with us to help out. In December of 2008 she had to leave so now it is me on my own with the girls. In February 2010, Lisa passed away and finally found her own Peace.