My Life in a Nut Shell

3 surgeries for Endometriosis, countless medications, and lots of difficult years trying to conceive. We put the medical stuff on hold and decided to work on being parents instead. In July of 2000 we were blessed beyond all measure with a phone call announcing the birth of our daughter, Megan. Megan's birth mother had given birth the day before and was leaving the hospital. We had no warning that Megan was coming. At 4:29 in the afternoon we were a couple, at 4:30 we were parents. Deciding that we wanted a sibling for Megan, we looked into all our options. This time insurance covered IVF. One round and we were blessed with triplets, Abigail, Brigid, and Caroline. Did you know that there is a 70% chance of divorce in families of Higher Order Multiples? Almost two years after the triplets were born my ex-husband and I separated and eventually divorced. During that time both my Mother and Father passed away from cancer. In February of 2007 my sister came to live with us to help out. In December of 2008 she had to leave so now it is me on my own with the girls. In February 2010, Lisa passed away and finally found her own Peace.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Good grief

So I really wanted to title this entry with a really good cuss word but I'm trying to be good here.  Today was really rough.  I mean really rough.  Started with not getting to bed until midnight.  Then woke up at 4:50 a.m. to go to the bathroom.  At that point there really is no point to go back to bed.  I'm operating on less than 5 hours of sleep.  I worked today from 7 a.m. until 5:30 p.m.  The only breaks I got were at 8:30 to take my girls to school and then 4:00 to pick them up at school and bring them back to my school.  I really don't mind the extra money.  That is always good incentive to work extra hours.  I'm just really tired.  And there must be something in the water because pretty much every child I encountered today has tried my patience.  I have an incredible amount of patience for children.  I really do.  If I didn't I couldn't have done what I've done for the last 18 years.  I like being around children.  I like the little people that they are.  They make me laugh everyday.  I learn from them everyday.  But today?  Oh my goodness.  I'm not sure how I made it through today.  I suspect that God had something to do with it.  He provided me with just enough energy to get through today.  And I'm praying to him tonight to give me the strength to get up tomorrow morning and do this all over again.   I really need a day off.  One that doesn't involve a funeral, sick kids, appointments, cleaning, moving, unpacking, or running errands.  A really good day off just for me.  A day where I get to choose what I want to do and not feel guilty about it.  I don't get those very often.  I need one to refuel.  To re-energize.  Pretty much every conversation I have goes something like this:  "How are you today?"  Me?  "I'm tired.  I'm always tired."  Not sure how else to answer that question.  And the funny thing is every Mom I have talked to in the last two weeks is saying the same thing.  Why do we Moms give so much of ourselves to the point that we are giving all of ourselves away?  I feel certain that this is not quite how life should be.  But really every Mom I work with and talk to feels the same way.  We are tired.  I don't see an end to not being tired.  I get brief moments of rest but nothing like I feel I need. 

I think I'm rambling now which means it is time for bed.  Night all.

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