This has been quite a month for us. It started with the funeral for my sister. It has been a hard road to travel down. (seems I use that analogy a lot) Having that service was a fitting way to say goodbye and it felt good to see so many people there who remembered the good that was my sister. It's been hard to just jump right into things after having so recently lost her. But life does go on. It has too. And we are surviving.
During this month I found a wonderful apartment for us to live in. Actually it is a townhouse. It's an end unit and only one attached neighbor. There is a backyard patio space with a privacy fence and a side yard for the girls to play on. No one above us OR below us. There are so fantastic things about this place. It's less than 5 minutes from the girls' school. Less than 10 from my work. It's in Field's cluster so that keeps the girls there. A friend of Megan's who has been in her class for 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grade is 4 doors down. She has been over at the apartment everyday since we signed the lease. We officially move next weekend. This is a place where I know our lives will be better. I am just so happy.
I keep telling the girls (especially Megan) that we are leading a very interesting life. I think she sees her friends at school and thinks we are missing out on things. But we do so much. I have always said that I don't ever want the girls to feel like they have missed out because they are in a single parent home and or because the youngest three are triplets. They did not ask for this situation so I don't ever want them to feel left out.
I sometimes think I do a disservice to my children by doing so much with them/for them. I go without a lot to make sure they have what they need. I truly don't have much of a social life. My social life consists of taking my girls here, there, and everywhere. While filling out a questionnaire on eharmony (don't laugh, it's the only way I have the time to meet someone. I work with ALL women) I was stumped trying to come up with hobbies and what I do in my free time. What free time? I go to bed so tired I don't even remember falling asleep at night. I wonder what they are going to think as they grow up. Will they realize how much I do for them? Will they realize how hard I work everyday to give them every opportunity? Are they going to grow up thinking that a single parent home is the ideal? Because really it is not. It's hard being a single parent. Harder than anyone could imagine. I rarely get a break in the action. I am their everything because I have to be.
And yes my house is messy. I sometimes don't have the time to keep it as neat as I would like. But really at the end of the day my children aren't going to thank me for doing the dishes in the sink. They are going to thank me for reading one last story to them or holding them in my arms and telling them how much I love them. If I have to step over a few toys in the process then so be it. It doesn't make me less of a parent and doesn't mean I'm lazy. There is always tomorrow to pick up but not always tomorrow to spend time with my girls when they are young.
Bottom line is I dreamed for years of being a Mom. I didn't have my children easily. I fought tooth and nail to have them. I prayed. And God answered my prayers by blessing me with Megan, Abigail, Brigid, and Caroline.
So see? A cover of a magazine and random thoughts.
1 comment:
Oh my gosh, that's great news! Congrats on your article, and your beautiful girls gracing the cover:)
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