Yes it does. I've often wondered if my life is a result of the choices I make or I make the choices I do because of what life presents to me. I seem to have an extraordinary amount of shit that happens. Here is how my day went today:
I worked from 7:15 a.m. (OK I was late to work so it was 7:21 a.m.) until 5 p.m last Wednesday. That last hour was off the clock because I was waiting for my little visitor's Mom to call and talk to here at my school. Instead of just sitting and chatting with my boss I ended up doing some work too. I can't NOT work at my job. Drives me nuts.
Oh did I mention my visitor? Her parents are in Russia meeting their new children they will be adopting in just a few short months. I volunteered to keep the 4 year old. I was honored that they agreed to it. So for 9 days we had 5 kiddos in this house. 2 cats. 1 dog. And a partridge in a pear tree.
But I digress.
During my rather lengthy work day I took an hour (damn it was more like an hour and half. Good thing my boss likes me.) long lunch break to run errands all around this town. I came home to let the dog pee and then hit a few places to finish up some holiday things.
After work all 6 of us headed to Target to pick up my high blood pressure meds. Lord knows why I'm on high blood pressure meds. Could be the kids...
I then took all 6 of us to the mall. I had promised the girls we would go to Glitter. Glitter is an accessories version of the Dollar Tree. Everything's a dollar and then have every type of accessory known to woman. My girls like to go there because they can pick anything they want in the store. Tonight I had promised they each could get ONE item. That's $5. Of course once we got there and I saw how excited they were, I upped it to TWO items. Then it was off to the food court where we had to visit FIVE different restaurants to meet everyone's different mealtime needs. I swear it took a half hour just to order.
Here's where the choices thing comes into play. I couldn't really afford last Wed. evening. I should have put that money to use elsewhere. I need new tags and brakes on my car. I need to see a doctor for my ankle because I am pretty damn sure I broke my ankle again at work. I can barely move my last two toes. And it is swelling like crazy. I have so many other needs for that money. Yet I spent it on trinkets at a dollar store and on dinner. I keep going back to a statement that Chloe said on her blog (http://www.chloeofthemountain.com/). "Poor kids need ice cream too." My girls needed this visit to the mall and I needed to give it to them. I got lots of hugs and kisses and thank yous. My little visitor kept saying, "Thank you Ms. Kristina!"
Here's my favorite part of the evening. While riding in the car, Abby will often make up songs about what is going on in her life. Tonight she was singing as was Caroline and Brigid. Megan sits next to me and tells me how stupid the girls sound. My little visitor was singing too. Then Megan said, "Mom listen to M's singing! M was singing, "I love Harrigan Mother, I love Harrigan Mother, She is very pretty and I love her."
Guess who's heart melted that day.
Sunday was Christmas. A nice relaxed Christmas. It was pretty low key. The girls got new bikes. What a gift to me to be able to see their smiling faces on Christmas morning when they saw 4 new bikes in my living room. Who needs a present when you get to see that?? Brigid's favorite gift was a pink guitar. A nice parent from my school today even tuned it up for her. Yes she brought it into my school. She wants to learn to play so I can put a video on youtube ala Justin Bieber.
Santa also put 3 presents under my tree too. I was not expecting that. Needless to say I cried like a baby when I opened the gifts. A bottle of wine, pink hippo jamas, lotions, and my favorite...aloe infused thermal socks! In pink no less!! Happy feet=happy me. :)
I could not have made this possible if it were not a few wonderful friends from my village. Thank you Katy, Laurene, Kim, Cindy R. and Cindy B. God Bless you!!!
At work today I had to say something to a few employees about the way something was being done. I've been told before that I am too blunt. I try not to pussyfoot around. I've had too much go on in my life to stay quiet anymore. I refuse too. I have learned that so much more gets accomplished if I just say what I am thinking more or less. Well it wasn't taken well and I ended up getting the silent treatment and unkind things said about me to others. I'm not sure I'm cut out to be a boss. My feelings get hurt too easily. I do feel like it was a case of "shooting the messenger". I understand that as well. It just hurts when all I'm doing is MY job and I get treated poorly. It hurts. And it makes me think I might not be cut out for doing this job. The worst part is I take it home to my kids. That's not fair on my part. Do you know when I realized that? While eating tacos at dinner. Petey the dog (who if he eats one more pair of my shoes might be looking for a new home) decided he needed a bite of Brigid's tortilla. He looked much like the dogs from the movie UP. The girls were going to laugh but then stopped because I guess they figured I might get mad. I WAS in a grumpy mood. Yet I couldn't help but start laughing at the dog and my poor girls' responses to the dog. We ended up belly laughing over this stupid dog!!!!
So tomorrow I'm going to get up, put my big girl panties on (have you seen my size??) and go into work and do the best job I can do. That's all I can do.
Megan was thrilled tonight because I finally figured out how to add minutes to the cell phone Santa gave her. She (and I) was beginning to think I wasn't going to add minutes to it. Thank goodness with a phone call and a half hour on the computer, she was able to make a phone call. Wanna know who it was to? Go ahead. Guess.
Her Dad.
Now if I could only figure out how to add music to her MP3 player from the computer. We are at 2 hours and counting with me trying to do it. Ugh. Maybe this weekend.
Caroline has a spinal MRI scheduled in January and her appointment with the neurosurgeon. It's looking more and more like she may have the same Chiari surgery that Brigid had. At least this time I can do this. Same surgery, different kid.
I am glad that Christmas is over. Looking forward to New Year's Eve and the month of January. As a teacher I always dreaded January because curriculum-wise it was always a bit boring. As an adult, I look forward to January and new possibilities. It always feels like a month of hope. I read on an aol.com news feed that a woman was killed by a hit-and-run driver. She had, in her pocket, a note that she carried around everyday. Her bucket list. She had things on it like "buy a house by 45" or "start a gay and lesbian group home for teens". I don't think I have a bucket list as much as I have a goal for 2012. Maybe a few goals. A new place to live. Possibly buy a house. New possiblities. And as much as I deny it, someone to love and someone to love ME. I miss being in love with someone. So here's to praying that 2012 brings me that.
"I need somebody to love. I don't need too much, just somebody to love. Girl I swear I just need somebody to love."
Holy crap I've been listening to waaayyy to much Justin Beiber in the car.
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