You know I've always said I should never blog when I'm angry or in a pissy mood. The other night I did both. I wrote down all the things that have worried me or concerned me in the last few months. I feel better when I write. Just sometimes I forget that friends read this. So I got an amazing outpouring of love and concern. I'm doing well. I really am. It's just that my life isn't easy. I imagine most people's aren't. Some have it much easier than others.
My life is a product of both circumstance and choices. I can't control the fact that my Mom, Dad, and Sister are gone. I've made some really poor choices, some of which I am still trying to recover from today. What I can control is how I choose to deal with my circumstances and choices. My neighbor told me tonight that even after posting my rant last week, my faith still shines through. And really my faith is what has sustained me through everything. Faith that God is bigger and better than I could ever imagine. Faith that God knows what he is doing. I may not like His choices. I may not like what I must go through. But I have the faith that God will provide me with the Grace I will need to get through anything.
Here in the last few days I am reminded how God provides in ways I would never expect. From friends, to families I teach, to friends I have never met, my children will be provided for for the holidays. I know I never ask for anything for myself. I don't need anything. I am always, and will always, be concerned about my girls. I will go to the ends of the earth and back to make sure they have what they need and sometimes what they want. And I'm thrilled that God is giving me the means, through my own hard work and my friends, to provide for them.
It may sound cliched and heck, 6 months ago I would have rolled my eyes if I heard someone say "God is good." How easy is it to spout that? Many people do but I often have wondered if they just mean that because they have some material item they have always wanted. When I say God is good I mean that he provides me with an attitude to get through anything. The ol' "when life hands you lemons" gimmick. Only it's not a gimmick. I have made pitcher after pitcher of lemonade. Thank you God!
And lest you think I've gotten all preachy on you...
Why is it that my dog like ice cubes? He gets excited every time I crack the ice cube tray.
Caroline convinced me to buy a coconut to drink the milk inside. Do you know that milk tastes like liquid sweat?
When Caroline was eating blackberries tonight she got ready to squeeze one in her mouth and announced, "Get ready for juice fest 2011!"
Petey the dog likes to pee when he is running up and down my carpeted steps.
Brigid is excited to get her follow-up MRI tomorrow from her Chiari surgery because she gets one on one time with me.
Abby wrote a Christmas song about Baby Jesus. And told me she likes to fart.
Megan's favorite word is anus.
It's a good thing I have spell check as I tried to spell gimmick gimmich.
Now off to watch Cake Boss.
My Life in a Nut Shell
3 surgeries for Endometriosis, countless medications, and lots of difficult years trying to conceive. We put the medical stuff on hold and decided to work on being parents instead. In July of 2000 we were blessed beyond all measure with a phone call announcing the birth of our daughter, Megan. Megan's birth mother had given birth the day before and was leaving the hospital. We had no warning that Megan was coming. At 4:29 in the afternoon we were a couple, at 4:30 we were parents. Deciding that we wanted a sibling for Megan, we looked into all our options. This time insurance covered IVF. One round and we were blessed with triplets, Abigail, Brigid, and Caroline. Did you know that there is a 70% chance of divorce in families of Higher Order Multiples? Almost two years after the triplets were born my ex-husband and I separated and eventually divorced. During that time both my Mother and Father passed away from cancer. In February of 2007 my sister came to live with us to help out. In December of 2008 she had to leave so now it is me on my own with the girls. In February 2010, Lisa passed away and finally found her own Peace.