My Life in a Nut Shell

3 surgeries for Endometriosis, countless medications, and lots of difficult years trying to conceive. We put the medical stuff on hold and decided to work on being parents instead. In July of 2000 we were blessed beyond all measure with a phone call announcing the birth of our daughter, Megan. Megan's birth mother had given birth the day before and was leaving the hospital. We had no warning that Megan was coming. At 4:29 in the afternoon we were a couple, at 4:30 we were parents. Deciding that we wanted a sibling for Megan, we looked into all our options. This time insurance covered IVF. One round and we were blessed with triplets, Abigail, Brigid, and Caroline. Did you know that there is a 70% chance of divorce in families of Higher Order Multiples? Almost two years after the triplets were born my ex-husband and I separated and eventually divorced. During that time both my Mother and Father passed away from cancer. In February of 2007 my sister came to live with us to help out. In December of 2008 she had to leave so now it is me on my own with the girls. In February 2010, Lisa passed away and finally found her own Peace.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

So Why Would I Stop Now?

I'm being quite prolific here.

Since I am taking a self-imposed hiatus from Facebook, I find myself writing more here.  I've been open about everything since I started this blog almost 4 years ago.  My divorce, my ex, my kids, my foreclosure and subsequent bankruptcy, my depression, weight, dating, jobs, and my sister.  So I'm going to tell you that  next Thursday the 15th I'm going in for a needle aspiration/biopsy of a cyst on my right breast. 

I don't have health insurance so I've let a lot of things go as far as my health is concerned.  I go to a local health clinic and pay based on my income and family size.  I'm on estrogen since I had my hysterectomy 5 years ago.  My doctor at the clinic wouldn't write a new prescription for the estrogen unless I had a baseline mammogram.  After much grumbling and a shitload of hot flashes, I went.  I got an abnormal result.  So off to the Brown Cancer Center I went.  And damn, dontcha know I have a cyst with an irregular border.  Apparently my right breast is what the doctor described as a "busy breast."  Lots of cysts.  After years of infertility treatments and carrying triplets, I've gotten pretty good at reading ultrasounds.  I could see all of those cysts so easily.  But this one cyst looks different.  So I get to go next Thursday to make sure it's OK.

Crap.

I don't have time for this.  I really don't.  I'm worried but trying not to worry.  I don't even want to go there.  And the worst part?  While laying on that table, having my breast manipulated and ultrasounded, all I could think was that I don't have health insurance and how the hell was I going to pay for this?  I was told not to worry about that.  As long as I have a health card from the clinic it won't cost me a thing.  Now how sad is it that I'm more worried about my inability to pay vs. my health?  Don't even get me started.

So, as usual, prayers for this chick.  Thank goodness God seems to be listening and answering prayers.  I've survived a lot thanks to prayers. 

Do you think I've used up my quota of prayer requests?

2 comments:

Jennie Dalcour said...

Kristina, I'm definitely praying for you! Praying for good results and peace about the money. I totally understand putting aside your own health because the funds just aren't there. :(

Kristina said...

Thank you Jennie! I know you would understand. Kinda sucks doesn't it?